Love, Drugs, and High School

Chapter Sixteen

          “You don’t have to…its fine—” I started but he cut me off.

          “I’ll be there in fifteen.” And he hung up the phone, with no further argument. To say that I wasn’t happy was inaccurate but I didn’t want him upset either.

Ryan

          Conflictions. Should I really tell Annabelle? Should I really tell her everything that’s happening?

          I slept on her couch the previous night, ensuring her that I wouldn’t leave. It’s not like I slept, though. How could I? Was I really about to put my trust in Annabelle and open up to her? Was I ready for that?

          Annabelle was starting to wake up, but I wasn’t sure I was ready for this. I couldn’t do it alone, but doing it with someone else was proving to be worse. My hands were shaking uncontrollably. I just need to calm down. Pulling the cigarettes out of my pocket, I quietly got up and headed for the door.

          “Are you really going to leave me up here?” Annabelle asked, startling me.

          “I wasn’t going to be gone for very long. Actually, I hoped to be back before you woke up.”

          “Well I see that worked well for you.” She rolled over, looking at me with a stare that if looks could kill, I would be dead.

          She patted the bed beside her, so I sat down on the edge. My chances of calming down were blown, so I tried to keep my hands steady in hope that she wouldn’t notice.

          “So where are we going today?” She asked, propping herself up with her elbows.

          I paused for a bit. Of course she was going to ask me. “I…” was all that came out. I didn’t know how to explain it to her. Shakily, I ran a hand through my hair. Big mistake. Annabelle noticed almost instantly, pulling me down to her level with ease.

          “What’s wrong?” she asked, looking deeply into my eyes.

          She expected me to answer. The silence between us confirmed that. But truthfully, I couldn’t face her right now. Avoiding all eye contact with her, I got up off her bed and walked out, going outside for some fresh air and a cigarette.

          “Running away from your problems,” Annabelle assessed. “It really doesn’t help, I would know. Just talk to me, Ryan.” I could tell that she was frustrated with me but I knew she cared, even though I didn’t want to admit that.

          It was impossible to look back at her. Who knows what would have happened if I had. Instead, I chose the easy way out, like I always do, and walked outside.

~<3~

We were in the car. I told myself I was ready for this, but my body reacted otherwise. My hands were shaking involuntarily and my breath hitched every time I realized exactly where I was driving to.