Fifty Sides of Robin© (Robin Thicke FanFic)

"I'm Having An Affair."

He chuckled. "Look at me..." He plopped onto the bed, facing me. "At the alter, what did you say?" He slurred, "I'll love you through everything," his voice went into a high pitch. "You should still love me, Jessy," he spat.

"You disgust me, why should I fucking love you Robin?" There have been many sides of him but this one...I'm terrified of. He stalked towards me and I stopped at the edge of the sink.

"You don't love me?" I swallowed nervously. Slap. He shook his head, stooping down to me. "You should've said you loved me. And you want to know who I'm having an affair with?" He smirked, running a finger through my hair. "Vivian. When I ask do you love me, you automatically say yes and return it." His eyes were dark and not a good dark. He was filthy drunk and I knew it. I held my face in agony. I laid there for a while, fearful. He could've done worse and I thanked God he didn't.

If I was stupid, I would stay with him. If I loved him, I would stay with him. If I hated him for cheating on me and hitting me, I would leave. There is no clear decision for me. It would take a lifetime for me to decide. But right now, I needed to leave before we had to go to the reunion.

I covered my face with foundation, covering up the mark. I felt uncomfortable in the room full of moms. They had bright smiles on their faces. "Be a big girl okay? Stephan will come and pick you up once class is done." She nodded, waving goodbye and rushing off to the girls. A small smile came to my face.

Once I arrived home, I pulled a small luggage piece from storage. I packed a few things and booked a hotel room. "You're leaving?" I scrambled from the chair as he locked the door behind him. "Where are you going, Jessy?" I shook my head as he caught my neck in his right hand. You could smell the liquor in his breath. "I didn't tell you you could leave." I felt his finger unzip my dress and my breath got shorter by the moment.

"Robin, please," I strained. He slapped me and slipped the dress and underwear off. "No," I cried as he entered me. I wept from the agonizing pain. He covered my mouth, being fond of what he was doing.

I didn't imagine for him to be like this. He was mentally torn and I was torn everywhere. I was shattered, broken into bits and pieces. And I never thought it would happen to me. I didn't think he would've gotten drunk. I was immobile now and he was gone again. I felt like a dirty cloth, being used to an extent but never washed.

I sat in the loveseat of our bedroom, my knees to my chin and my tears running down my face. After a while, I canceled the room and packed the rest of my luggage for tomorrow night. What was left of me didn't have any feeling, if there was anything left. A tragic state I was in and I couldn't get out. I called on someone that I never that I would call on.

Pulling into the driveway, I sat for a moment.

"Oh my God, sweetie what are you doing here?" She frowned confused but wrapped her arms around me.

Robin's POV

Everything was drowsy as I stumbled down the stairs. One question still left unanswered.

Am I still the man she married?

I knew I wasn't and I knew the answer was no but I didn't want to believe it. I really broke her and I could see it in her eyes every time she looked at me. Since the day I started cheating, I had no clue what and who I was. I was ashamed of myself. And every time Jessy tried to unzip my pants, my heart broke. She had no clue what I was doing behind closed doors of a hotel room. No one knew and I kept it a hidden secret. The press would soon find out and that mattered to me because Jessy never liked publicity. If anything she despised it. I hit her. I spat at her. And I-I raped her.

I was hanging on a thin string. A string that had been ripping since the day I saw Vivian for the first time in years. She looked as if I didn't hurt her but we hurt each other and she had knowledge of that. I fell into her seductive trap and she engulfed me with lust. It was pleasing at the time because I missed her body but I had no reason to miss it because I had someone new. We both had someone new. I was intoxicated when I was with Vivian.