Carmilla (Hollstein) One-Shots

Whiskey Lullaby

She put her out, like the burnin' end of a midnight cigarette
She broke her heart, she spent her whole life tryin' to forget

Carmilla Karnstein smiled to herself as she limped up the front porch steps and opened the front door, still clad in her uniform. She'd just returned from Afghanistan, and although she'd suffered a major injury she hoped her fiancée would love her regardless. She went inside and called out, asking if anyone was home. Not hearing a response, she figured Laura might be asleep, seeing as it was fairly late, and hobbled upstairs to their bedroom. The smile she wore from the joy in her heart of having made it home in almost one piece and seeing the woman she loved again, soon to be married, dropped as soon as she opened the door. Laura was on their bed with a ginger woman. Carmilla recognized her as Danny Lawrence, Laura's ex. They were giggling and drinking and whispering to each other in a very close proximity when she looked up, noticing Carmilla in the doorway with a heartbroken expression. "Carm, wait!"
But the soldier was already moving down the stairs as fast as she could, sprinting outside and hopping on her motorcycle. Laura tried to follow her, but it was too late. As Carmilla drove away, she heard the woman who had stolen and broken her heart call out "I'm sorry!" Too blinded by the swirling emotions in her head, she found herself outside her mother's house. She slowly knocked, and the door was answered shortly after. "Mircalla?" Her mother used her birth name, seeming confused as to why she was already home, but it was quickly replaced with a joyous expression. She hugged her daughter tightly, having missed her for the last seven years. After she pulled away, she noticed Carm was crying. "Honey, what happened?"
Crushed, angry, jealous, desperate and feeling rejected and unworthy all at once, the best she could do was choke out a "You were right."

We watched her drink her pain away, a little at a time
But she never could get drunk enough to her get off her mind

Carm had gotten a small apartment on her own, and had developed a bad habit of coming home drunk off her ass. She didn't stop drinking, desperately trying to get the heartbreak off her mind, erase the good and the bad memories forever. Yet, however drunk she was, it didn't end. She never stopped seeing Laura in every face she saw on the street, in the bar, in random pictures on the wall. She couldn't stop seeing what might've been, what could be if only she talked to her, tried to fix things. This realization came entirely too late..

Until the night..
She put that bottle to her head and pulled the trigger
And finally drank away her memory
Life is short, but this time it was bigger
Than the strength she had to get up off her knees

In her last moments, she realized how much of a mistake she'd made. She'd taken those pills and there was no going back now. It didn't occur to her how much she had to live for, her mom, her sister, even Laura if things went right. With moments left as her heart started to slow, she grabbed a pen and a paper and frantically scribbled a note. She collapsed with the paper clutched to her chest as her heart stopped beating, a tear rolling down her cheek with her last breath.