Game Recognize Game

34. Body Count 4

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Kinzy

My head was throbbing when I was awoken by the tapping at my bedroom door. It sounded like a ton of tools hitting a tile floor the way my head was hurting with every tap. I was able to find another bottle of crown royal last night and had went to town, especially after my fight with Ebony. I never , meant to say something that cruel but I was sick of everyone trying to act like they knew what i was going through.

After one more annoying tap I screamed out, "WHAT!" I took my head from under the pillow and looked at my door. Only to see Miss Janice walk in with breakfast. "Someone woke up on the wrong side of the bed," she said placing her hand on her hip. I scoffed and rolled back under my pillow. "I'm not hungry," I spoke gruffly, wanting her to leave. "Well you better get hungry, because I've just about had it with you sitting in this room and starving yourself and drowning in liquor. Not to mention you haven't seen your own child in five days! Now I'd expect that from Tammi or one of those other sleaze bag mothers but not you. Now sit up, and eat this," Miss Janice more or less asked. I rolled my eyes, not feeling like fighting. I rolled over and sat up making eye contact with her.

"Look Miss Janice I need time...," I began but she cut me off."That's fine! Time to heal is fine," she spoke with her tone getting gentle." But you taking out your mourning, hurt,and anger on your family and your friends is not fine. As women we have to be strong and put our family first because when we sink the whole ship sinks," she tried telling me but i turned my head. She was crazy... I wasn't supposed to just be okay for everyone else. "Miss Janice, I'm my own person and I can't live for my family. I need some time for me," I try to explain only making her face boot up.

"No what you're looking for is time to be selfish, but you're a mother and damn near a wife and that word does not fit in either one of those descriptions. Being a mother and a wife means crying in the wee hours while your husband is still at work and the kids are fast asleep. Being a mother is still waking up, cooking, cleaning, and getting those kids to school when you feel like curling up and dying. Being a woman, Kennedy, is the exact opposite of what you're doing right now. We have to take the good with the bad and make the best out of the worst," she stood and replaced her hands on her hips.

"I have a son who lost a child and has a childish girlfriend who won't even help him try to hold it all together. He's going through the emotional destruction of when his older brother is going to die and whether he's going to have to be the one to do it, all while dealing with your dysfunctional behind and his son crying to him about not seeing his mother," she grills me out, making me drop my head. Miss Janice knelled down in front of me as my eyes became watery. "That little girl, would have loved you and this family so so much," she continued breaking down the barrier i'd built up. "But right now, your son and your man needs you! They need you to be strong like they're trying to be. Joshua tries to be okay with not seeing you but he is hurting. Jyrell tries to act like none of this is killing him but it is! So what i need you to do, is try to act like it's easy to move on because the sooner you do that, the sooner it will happen," she cries as she cups my tear covered chin.

"Be that fighter I know you to be, right now Kennedy!" Miss Janice grips my hands tightly and pulls me to my feet, and wraps an arm around me to help me stand. With her help i walk down the stairs and into the living room to see Joshua sitting Indian style at the coffee table and eating his breakfast. His curly little fro is wild and he's still dressed in pj's. A small smile forms on my lips as I walk over and kneel beside him. When he turns and see's me his eyes light up and my heart melts. I've been so stupid blocking out the love of those around me for something that's gone now. "I'm so sorry baby," I hugged him tightly to me, as if I'd lose him too. It was hitting me now though, looking at him and touching his face, that I needed to take care of what was right in front of me. 'Where is Jyrell," I asked Miss Janice? She could only shrug unsure, but I knew I had a lot of apologizing to do. To him, to Ebony, to Joshua.

It took for another mother and woman who i know is going through it right now, to talk me off the ledge, but i'm so glad she did.

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TO BE CONTINUED...

I know my updates are taking a while but I'm getting them done and I plan on having this story done by new years. I'll continue doing the recaps because I know it takes too long to keep up with everything and I also want to thank the people who continue to stick with me.Moving on now; Do you think Jyrell was scared to kill James? Is Nikko going to flip out and get out of hand? How do you think him and Ebony are going to deal with the family? First Impressions of Michigan? Did you think Miss Janice would be the one to help Kinzy? Do you think Poochie will live? Did you feel bad for Jyrell having to watch his best friend kill brother? I want to know what you guys think, so let me know and until next time Vote it up and Comment down. #MuchLove my riders.