Am I In Hell?

Chapter 3: Where Did I Go Wrong?

*Chris's POV*

I wasn't paying much attention to what Astrid was doing at diner. Which was a big mistake might I add. But I figured she would be quiet and not talk, so I just watched Willow interact with Devin and Kylie's daughter Sally. They were too adorable for their own good. Especially when a mashed potato war broke out between Josh and Willow. Astrid noticed something about Willow after she was done eating. I just left it alone, she had to remember soon that Willow was her daughter. That's the only reason why I would never lay a hand on her and believe me there were a few times when that child deserved a well good spanking. When she was born she had brown eyes like mine. She defiantly has my attitude to. But everything about her says she's like her mother.

As far Astrid knows I killed her parents cause I just wanted someone knew to serve. And that her parents were just another snack. I never killed Willow's parents because we were her parents. I'd never lay a hand on her or Willow. She also thought I had killed her parents to, which is something that I never did either, they were the leaders of an allied coven. They freely gave her up after they were turned. She doesn't know that and she doesn't need to after today. Nothing will matter come midnight.

Astrid got up and ran into the kitchen. Well, more like stumbled. I tried to keep Willow from running after her. Tried and failed. Miserably failed. Worst parent ever. After we got into the kitchen Astrid was already coughing up blood and about to pass out. She was pale and weak.

Willow was screaming as I handed her to Brandon. By the time I walked over to Astrid she was already unconscious. I picked her up and carried her to my room. Willow cried herself to sleep that night. I couldn't sleep, not knowing there was something wrong with my mate. Even if she didn't know it yet. She noticed that Willows eyes were different though. That's a start at least.

When a vampire is born, for the first 6 years of their life, they have their father's eyes. On their 6th birthday they either change or stay the same. They only stay changed for a week before a normal eye color comes back. And when that happens like I said the eye color with either go back to being the fathers or the mother's in most cases the fathers eye color is dominate but sometimes in rare cases they get the mothers eye color. Willow fully embraces her vampire side. Ever since she was little. I told her she couldn't though in front of her mother, who ironically doesn't remember giving birth to her. So Willow pretended to be just like her mommy. Literally she did everything like her. She wore the same outfit that Astrid did even though I told her not to.

"Ryan?!" Ryan was one of the members of my coven and my band. The first one to find his mate too and marry her like normal humans do. He poked his head in and gave me a weird look. I was laying on the floor sprawled out.

"Yes your royal evilness?" Smartass.

"Willow still a sleep? In her room?"

"Not on her room. But yeah she's still asleep."

"Where is she?"

"Sleeping in Angelo's arms. Every time he tries to put her in bed she wakes up screaming and crying." He came farther into the room and sat in one of the chairs. "How is she?"

"Not moving. Or walking up. Her parents did the same thing after they were turned too. Same with Ali, Jessica, Kylie, and Kyla." Ryan smirked as he remembered how long it took for Ali to wake up. And when she did, he wasn't able to leave the room for 3 days. But that was different then now. With Ali, after Ryan turned her, it took her an hour to pass out afterwards. But with Astrid, she past out right after I turned her and 30 minutes after she woke up, and this time she was coughing up blood.

At this point I could only hope she would wake up and all would be fine, and that she would remember having our daughter Willow when she was 20. But that's just it. I could only hope. Hope is a funny thing. I never have it. I never needed hope until now. I feel hopeless and loveless to I still have Willow who loves me but that's not the love I need right now.

I climbed into bed next to her and fell asleep.

- - - - - - - - - - - -

I woke up the next morning only to find Astrid on her side facing me. I kissed her forehead and closed my eyes to get some more sleep. I felt the bed move and I opened my eyes to see her sitting on the edge. She turned around and I pretended to be asleep. I heard her shuffling around the room for a minute. Sitting up I saw her staring at a bunch of photos of her when she was a kid with her parents. All the letters they sent that I never gave her. Then she picked up a blanket. It was hers from when she first got here. I took it away from her when she was seven so it wouldn't get blood stains on it. It would have to because she carried it with her everywhere. Cause let's face it I'm a messy eating.

Holding it to her face she smiled. I did too. Without warning she jumped on me and laughed. "How you feeling baby?"

"Better than ever now that I can hold you." And she did just that. We held each other until little miss I'm-gonna-wake-up-daddy-every-morning came in. Willow grabbed the letters and threw them in the trash. She thought they were evil. Then grabbed the blanket and climbed in between me and Astrid. I missed this. I miss laying in bed with Astrid with Willow in between us on nights where she had a nightmare. My bed has been empty for so long.

"Daddy? Does mommy remember me now?"

"I remember giving birth to a beautiful baby girl on June 6th, 2006. And I named her Willow because of the willow trees where I grew up that would sway in the the breeze during the summer. And freeze during the winter." She remembered. She remembered everything. Even her reason for naming Willow. Willow smiled up at her mom as did I. "Chris?"

"You haven't called me that since we got into that accident. What's wrong?"

"I'm hungry."

"Are you hungry or just thirsty?"

"Both?" I laughed and got up. Picking up Willow we all walked down stairs to find Brandon and Kuza sitting in front of the tv watching cartoons. Dexter's Laboratory from the sound of it. They were so weird. Devin, Kylie and Sally were the last to come down stairs. We had a lot to talk about.