He was screamed at, yelled at, his parents threw a fit when they got home. Why? Phil couldn't understand even though they had probably made it very clear. He didn't understand. Why were Amanda and Matt angry at Phil for being a mess? He didn't ask for this, he didn't ask to be addicted to such a horrible thing or to feel awful about everything all the time.
"Why the fuck would you do that?"
"You're so stupid Phillip, we don't understand you."
"This self-harm is bullshit. You're nearly 18, you're a man."
By now, Phil was about ready to burst but he kept quiet and let his parents rant until Matt decided to bring up what Phil had dreaded ever since this all started.
"They told us to get you help, they made us get you help and what other choice did we have?" Matt huffed, throwing papers at Phil who caught them and looked down to read the words on the paper.
Need help or know someone who does? Contact us.
"So we called." Matt continued as Phil flipped the paper.
...group therapy is a great way to talk about your feelings and realize you're not alone. Call us to join or E-mail us! Free to join at any time!
"...and you're going to be going to some group therapy shit. We're gonna pay a lot of money for this so you better go." Matt scolded and Phil felt his heart drop.
Therapy? No. No way. He always told himself that he would get better when he felt like it and he was never getting help. But he was going to go to therapy? He couldn't. Especially group therapy. He didn't want to share his feelings or talk to anyone else and "realize he's not alone". He was always alone.
"It's every Wednesday and you're gonna go tomorrow right after school." Amanda informed Phil and sighed a long and annoyed sigh. "Why the fuck did we adopt you."
"I'm asking the same thing too." Phil muttered far too quietly for either of them to hear and he left to his room before they started complaining anymore.
He couldn't believe himself but he promised he'd stay for Skye and he promised he'd hold on for her so he would. How bad could therapy be?
Horrible, Phil thought to himself.
***
Like the past two days, this day slowly dragged on and he was constantly thinking of ways to not go to therapy but he knew too well that ditching wouldn't get him anywhere and he'd probably be beaten up again.
He shivered. Matt had only ever beaten him up two times and those two times were enough to scar him and become afraid of Matt. He never wanted it to happen again.
Gym class was the class he had after lunch and he felt a wave of relief when his gym teacher told him he didn't have to change.
"Go stand beside Daniel Howell, over there." the gym teacher ordered and Phil looked up to see Dan standing near a bench, arms crossed over his chest and his eyes on the floor.
Dan was in his gym class. What a joy. Of course he didn't know, he skipped in the first day, had to leave on the second and now, on his third day did he realize Dan was in one of his classes.
Doing as told, Phil started towards Dan and stopped when he was a meter away from him.
Dan glanced up at Phil and gave him a crooked grin but it soon faded and he raised his eyebrows.
"What're you doing here?"
Phil shrugged like always then opened his mouth slightly.
"I don't know."
"Well, at least I'm not alone anymore." Dan said and grinned at Phil again who tried to force a smile back but couldn't.
Phil didn't know much about Dan but he liked Dan more than anyone so far.
"So.. what class do you have next?" Dan asked and Phil answered quietly only to be told they had the same class next and Phil felt calm again.
This was all so weird; Phil just met Dan a few days ago and he already felt closer to him than anyone else, he felt at ease with Dan and he felt somewhat comfortable.
"You seem like a nice person, why don't you talk much?" Dan questioned.
"People don't wanna talk to me so I don't talk." Phil replied.
"I want to talk to you."
"I'm pretty boring."
Dan snorted and Phil looked at him in confusion.
"What?"
"Everyone says that," Dan said. "I mean, some are right but most aren't. I personally think you're quite interesting, mysterious and emotional."
"Emotional?"
"Personal opinion."
Phil nodded then shrugged again.
"I personally think you're charismatic from what I've seen so far, curios and slightly strange." He told Dan and grinned a genuine grin as he glanced at Dan.
"Strange? Is that an insult?" Dan said in a dramatic voice and Phil's smile became slightly bigger.
"No, it's a good thing. Normal-ness leads to sadness."
Dan smiled at Phil and he felt his face get hot.
"Normal-ness leads to sadness. I like that." Dan said and Phil looked at his feet, now with a big smile on his face.
They spent the rest of the class talking about simple things, nothing much personal but Phil was happy to be able to have someone to talk to during gym class and then his next class.
Until this Joey boy interrupted.
"What are you doing?"
Phil stopped and looked around, not knowing what to do or how to answer. He could either be dramatic or simple but he wanted to do both yet neither.
"We were just talking, Joey." Dan let out a sigh and Phil couldn't stop the words that came out of his mouth next.
"Why does it matter to you?"
He felt embarrassed as soon as he said it. Why did he do it? Why didn't he just keep his mouth shut and his thoughts to himself?
Joey rolled his eyes at Phil. "I'm his boyfriend, I have a right to know this shit."
Then Phil felt his face flush red as his eyes were on his shoes again.
"Oh," was all he could say.
That was enough to ruin Phil's day that had been going surprisingly well. Dan sat beside Joey in class and Phil was put at the end of the class.
And to add to it, he had to go to therapy right after hell was over with.
Not having a car, he walked to therapy using his phone as a gps so he wouldn't get lost.
Once he made it and found the room he was supposed to be in ten minutes ago, he walked in shyly and quickly scanned the room, his eyes landing on one person in particular that was sitting at the back of the room looking down at their hands.
"Oh, are you Philip? Come sit and join us!" The lady that seemed to be the therapist said and everyone looked at Phil, everyone including Dan Howell.
*****
Guys I finally updated I'm so sorry sCHOOL SUCKS ASS UGH ok yes hERE IS PART FOUR
I'm really happy and excited for this story pLEASE STICK WITH MEH HERE IM TRYING TO MAKE THIS PERFECT although this is fat from perfect IM TRYING
I also just noticed this like wtf has this always been here where what when who hELP ITS COOL BUT ITS BOTHERING ME KINDA ok I'm don e iLL SEE YOU LATER I HOPE YOU ENJOYED THIS AND UNTIL NEXT TIME
bYYEEEE cx
