Entry #40

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Dear Autumn,

I understand now.

And it's sad that I understand.

I understand why you didn't come to school. Why you cried so much. Why you had to put on a mask to cover up your sadness.

Because your brother... died.

And I am so sorry.

Not only for you, but for everyone.

Because Ryan was one the best people I knew. He was the only male figure in my life that I completely worshipped.

Even more than my dad.

Because Ryan was always honest and accepting, and everything that my dad wasn't.

He liked when I was around. He teased us when we used to hold hands. He even gave me the talk about how he'd kill me if I ever hurt you. It would've been scary if we hadn't played video games right after (and if he wasn't laughing so much during his speech).

Ryan was the brother I never had.

And it hurts. Like it always does. It hurts so much and it hurts even more knowing that you're in pain.

I guess it's funny how life works though. Now, we're both messed up.

But I'll be there for you, Autumn. I always will be.

I promise.

Love,
August

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