Save Me Because I Can't Save Myself (Patrick Stump)

Chapter 13

Patrick's POV
Once Brendon and Anna get back from their walk we go and get some breakfast. Brendon and Anna have been getting along really good lately. I have a feeling there is something she's not telling me, I hope it's not bad.

We head to some nearby cafe and order breakfast. Anna doesn't order anything. So I ask her if she's okay, she hasn't been eating that good lately so I'm kind of starting to worry about her. Could she have an eating problem? She's absolutely beautiful but I'll have to ask her when we're alone next. I don't think she'd be comfortable with me bringing that up in front of everyone.

The other guys notice she's not eating but they don't say anything to be polite. I might ask Brendon about how she is, he might know. Luckily hardly anyone recognises us. I mean I love our fans, I'm just not in the mood to deal with fangirls who want pictures and autographs. I'm to worried about Anna. I really care about her and I'm scared she's going to do something bad to herself. I mean after what she's told me about her parents and school and stuff.

After eating we walk back to the bus and get comfy. It's going to be a long trip. 8 or more hours to waste sitting in a bus. Yay, how fun. It's 12ish by the time we leave so there's no point in sleeping. The guys decide on watching a movie but neither Anna or I feel like watching it so we head to our bunks.

Anna ends up reading and I just scroll through tumblr, Twitter and Instagram. I'm kinda bored. And cold. I decide to snuggle up to Anna since she stole all the blankets. "Paaaaatrick" she moans at me. So adorable. "Yes?" I ask innocently. "I'm trying to reeeaaad" She complains at my clinginess "Read later, I want attention" I try to pout and look adorable, which must of worked.."What kind of attention?" She asks smiling. I answer that by pressing my lips onto her's, quite forcefully as well. What? I've been waiting all day to kiss her. She smiles into it and kisses back.

I place one of my hands on her cheek and one on her arm to steady the kiss. She winces. What? How did I hurt her? Where is she hurt? My mind goes straight to the worst thing. She's hurt herself hasn't she? "Anna..?" I ask trying to calm down the thoughts going through my mind. She doesn't respond. Just does anything to avoid eye contact with me. I need to know if what I'm thinking is right so I pick up one of her arms carefully. She tries to pull away which just causes her more pain. "I'm sorry.." I mumble knowing that I hurt her. But I can't just let it be. I need to know if I'm right or not.

I let go of her arm so I don't hurt her. I go to pull up her sleeves but she pulls away. "Anna.. Please show me" I plead with her, I need to know how bad it is. "Show you what?" She tries to act like she has no idea what I'm talking about. "Show me your wrists" I'm really starting to worry. "No" She's on the verge of tears and now so am I. "Please" I'm basically begging her now.

She doesn't reply so I take that as a yes and carefully pull up her sleeve to see very fresh cuts lining her wrists. They look like they had been done in the last day or so, maybe even this morning. "Wh..en?" I mange to ask, shocked about his fresh they look. She just pulls down her sleeve in silence. "When Anna?" I don't know if I really want the answer to it. "This.. Morning" Well that must be what she was talking to Brendon about. And why she didn't feel like eating.

All of a sudden I get really angry at Brendon or not telling me about this. I jump out of the bunk and walk to the bathroom to find what she used. I see the blood on the tissues and a blade wrapped up in one. This makes me even more angry as I walk to where the guys are watching a movie and pull Brendon up by his shirt and shove the blade into his face. "Why didn't you tell me about this!" I say yelling. Brendon looks shocked, until he remembers what Anna told him told him this morning. "Wasn't my thing to tell. She was going to tell you herself" He shrugs it off, like its nothing to worry about.

Pete gets up and pushes me away from Brendon. He obviously figured out what's going on, I mean it's not that hard there's a blade covered in blood now sitting on the floor, where I dropped it. "Patrick, Anna wanted to tell you yourself, that's not Brendon's fault" Pete tries to calm me down. Or stop my from killing or hurting Brendon.

I soon realise how stupid I was and that I should be with Anna comforting her. I probably just made things like 10 times worse.. How can I be so stupid...

Anna's POV
Patrick leaves and I let the tears flow down my face. He hates me now. Good job Anna, make one of the only people that cared about you hate you. I frantically search for my other blades. After finding none I sigh still crying.

I hear yelling from the other room. By the sounds of it it's Patrick.. Yelling at Brendon? Oh gosh this is all my fault. Patrick probably hates Brendon for not telling him. I can't stand them yelling so I run to the bathroom and lock the door. I search for the blade which I used this morning but it's gone. Patrick... I need release and I need it bad. But there's nothing around me that would work. I dig my nails into my skin and sigh when it opens up my cuts.

The yelling has calmed down by now. But I don't want to go out and face everyone. I'm guessing everyone in the bus now knows what I did. Instead of getting up I just watch the blood run down my arm. It's oddly relaxing. I nearly doze off when..

Brendon's POV
Once Patrick calmed down he went to go back to Anna. "She's not there! And the bathroom door is locked!" He yells obviously scared. Pete, Patrick and I all go over to try and talk her into opening the door, when the others just sit in the lounge area worried. "Anna.. Please let us in" Patrick is begging for Anna to listen. "Go away" she mumbles. "Guys go into the lounge and I'll try talking to her" I say knowing that Anna trusts me enough to talk to me. They both agree and walk away. Patrick wiping the tears from his face.

"Anna, it's Brendon. Can you let me in?" I ask in the calmest voice I can, when I'm actually scared as fuck that she could be trying to.. Well hurt herself even more. "Only you?" She asks quietly so only I can hear. "Yes" I hear the click of the door opening and her moving away from the door. After I close and lock the door again I sit down next to her so we're around the same height.

I notice the blood running down her wrist but I don't see a blade anywhere, that's good I guess. I clean up the blood and wrap up her wrists. When all of that is done I sit back down and pull her into my lap. She cried, my shoulder is wet from tears but I don't care. "I.. Want to.. Die" Anna gasps out while crying harder. I pull her face up to mine and make her look me in the eyes. "No you don't, you can't. You are now a part of our life and you're not leaving" I try saying as confidently as I can, when really I'm breaking down on the inside.

Do I tell Patrick that she said that? What if she tries to.. I don't want to even think about that.

I hear Anna's breathing steady eventually. I guess she's fallen asleep. It has been a tiring day.

I pick her up and put her into bed. She's unusually light. She still somehow looks beautiful even after hours of crying.. Wait.. Could I have feelings for Anna?