Save Me Because I Can't Save Myself (Patrick Stump)

Chapter 7

Anna's POV
Of course I wake up again in Patrick's bed. He must of carried me upstairs last night after I fell asleep while we were watching a movie. Wow I bet that was difficult. I mean I'm not the skinniest and lightest girl.

I notice that Patrick isn't next to me. Did he sleep there? I would feel rude if he didn't sleep in his own bed just because I was there. I start wonder where he is then I hear the sound of a shower. Oh right we're leaving for the tour today. He's probably getting ready. I should probably have one as well but this bed is just heaven. I'll just wait for him to come back into here.

After about 20 minutes a basically naked Patrick walks into the room with only a towel around his waist. He must think I'm still asleep. I try to pretend to be asleep but that's kinda difficult when the guy you've been obsessed with most of your life is standing in front of you basically completely naked.

I can't get the thoughts out of my mind about how attractive he is. His hair is all messed up and it's really hot. I can't pretend to be asleep for long so it would just be easier to pretend to wake up. I roll over in the bed and stretch until Patrick notices I'm awake.

"Oh. Anna. I didn't mean to wake you. Ah sorry I forgot to grab clothes before I went to have a shower". He says sounding slightly nervous. I don't actually mind him like but I look away to stop him feeling awkward or embarrassed.

Patrick rushes out of the room to get changed and ready for the tour whileI just sit awkwardly and wait, not really knowing what to do with myself. I don't need to pack as I didn't even unpack. There was no need to since I knew we would only be here for a night or so.

I can't wait to meet the rest of Fall Out Boy, it may seem creepy but I'm a fan of their music for a while and I can't help it.

A few minutes later Patrick walks back into the room this time dressed in black jeans, a black t-shirt, a leather jacket and of course one of his many fedoras. Sadly I might add. He looked better before.

"Anna?" He asks snapping me out of my thoughts "Hmm?" Oops I was day dreaming again. "Do you wanna have a shower before we leave?" He asks ignoring the fact that I was just staring at him for a few seconds.

"Yeah sure, when are we going?" I ask before standing up and getting some spare clothes to change into. "The guys are picking us up around 1" He replies, standing awkwardly by the door. Well it's 11 now so 2 hours, that shouldn't be that bad. I just mutter a quiet okay as he leads me to the bathroom and closes the door behind him. I turn on the shower and wait for it to heat up.

I was smart enough to grab my stuff including my blade which I tucked into the middle of my clothes so Patrick wouldn't notice. It's not like I was going to use it but I wanted it just incase I felt like I did.

Would it be bad to do that now? When I'm about to go on tour with a band I've been obsessed with for so long? Would that be selfish? All these type of questions flood my brain just as I get into the shower.

I'm leaving my parents, they will have no idea where I will be for at least a few months. For once I'm actually free from them. But how long will that actually last for. My dad won't give up on me. He will manage to make my life a living hell even if I'm not around him.

My mind stars to fill with possible situations and I let the blade do the rest.

After about 6 or so cuts on each arm the voice in my head has decided to be quiet. For now at least.

I get out of the shower and get changed. Luckily I thought ahead and grabbed long sleeves. I wince in pain at first when the fabric touches the new cuts but I'll have to deal with that for the rest of the day.

I try calming down my long-ish brown hair but end up tying it up in a bun to keep it out of the way. A few minutes later I walk out of the bathroom and head downstairs to find Patrick.

And of course he's in the kitchen making breakfast. "You know you don't have to keep cooking for me?" I say once I reach the bottom of the stairs. He jumps not realising I was in the room. "Fu...dge Anna don't scare me like that". He squeals, nearly dropping the pan which he had in his hands, I laugh at his attempt not to swear. "And also you're my guest, I want to cook" He adds before going back to cooking breakfast for us both "Well I'll make it up to you some time" I say while thinking of what I could make him once we get back from the tour "Fine" He agrees, not even looking away from the stove to answer.

I glance over to the clock to see its 12. I must of lost track of time getting ready.

A few minutes later Patrick places a stack of pancakes in the middle of the table. They look delicious even though I'm not hungry. But I grab one and place it on a plate in front of me and start to eat. "No toppings? Boooorinnng" I hear Patrick say overly dramatically from the other side of the table. "Just not that hungry" I say and he fake gasps and tries to look offended. "But I made so many!" He gasps again. "We can take them for Pete?" I offer, he just laughs but agrees with me.

We both finish our pancakes and I walk over to do the dishes. Patrick tries to argue but I start to wash them anyway. He settles with just helping me.

After getting bubbles and water everywhere, we head upstairs to get the rest of our stuff ready. Me being clumsy and stupid I trip running up the stairs and bang my head into the wall.

I hear Patrick asking me if I'm okay but I just get up laughing and continue up the stairs, acting like nothing happened. I go straight to my stuff and pack my clothes from yesterday, forgetting that I had placed my blade in the middle. It falls out but I quickly stuff it back with the rest of them, hoping Patrick didn't see. I don't think he did.

"Anna...?" He asks carefully sounding concerned. Dammit! Why am I so stupid and clumsy? "Yeah?" I try to sound like a have no idea what he's going to say. But that doesn't work. "Did I see...?" He asks whispering the end of the sentence. "No" I mutter quietly hoping he would change the subject or the others would arrive soon forcing us to end this conversation. But then he comes behind me and pulls it out. Thankfully he only finding the one from this morning. "Why do you have this with you?" He asked referring to my blade that still has little spots of blood on it. How am I even going to explain this without telling Patrick the truth? Can I even lie to Patrick? "I must of accidentally packed it when I was grabbing all my stuff from my house" I try lying "Why is there fresh blood on it then?" He asks obviously not believing my attempt at lying.

I actually think of telling the truth because I seriously can't think of a lie good enough that Patrick would believe. When he goes to ask me again, I hear Pete yelling from down stairs telling us to hurry up. Perfect timing. "We'll continue this talk later" He tells me in concerned yet serious tone before leaving me to join the guys.

I quickly stuff the rest of my stuff into my bag and carry it downstairs. I'm totally fucked now and what if he tells Pete or anyone else, that would be horrible. Even though Pete knows about that, I still couldn't stand seeing the disappointment in his eyes. I push those thoughts to the back of my mind and put on a smile for everyone downstairs.

I get attacked by hugs from the rest of the band, trying not to fangirl or freak out as much as soon. I hug them back lightly "Anna we've heard so much about you" Pete yells happily making Patrick blush and attempt to change the subject. "We better get going, don't wanna keep Panic! Waiting" He says excitedly. Panic!? As in P!ATD? Wow I have to keep myself from freaking out.

But I think Patrick noticed that I was mentally fangirling. "Are you a fan of Panic! At The Disco?" He asks smiling. I think about saying that I'm more than a fan, that I'm obsessed but that would be creepy so I just nod happily. "Well we better get going then" Pete adds before pulling us out of the house and into a van that was parked outside of Patrick's place.

This seems to be becoming the best day ever! Meeting all of Fall Out Boy and now Panic! At The Disco! My life couldn't be better!

No... I can't be thinking like that after everything that I planned. Why did I agree to going on tour with them? I'm going to want to change my mind about ending it all. But is that necessarily a bad thing?