Journal // haylor

xi.

"You had me in the palm of your hand. Why'd you have to go and lock me out while I let you in?"

- All You Had To Do Was Stay

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If you could've turn back in time, I don't really think you would change the past for me.

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I was dumb, wasn't I? Taking back the person who has hurt me over and over again just to have the pain again.  I an drowning in them. I can't pick up the pieces of the mess you made anymore. I can't fix this.

You are just being you — careless, playful, handsome asshole. You can charm any woman with your eyes.

I remember when I first saw you across the room and I thought, anyone who will be your woman must feel really lucky. How ironic is it?

I am lucky enough to create some god memories with you for some time. Now, I don't feel lucky at all. No, not at all. Especially, when I was hurting so much and you didn't even care. Even if you do, you suck at showing it. God, you're maybe even the worst.

When I heard you say that, my stomach was burning. My chest was stomped and I felt my heartbeat weakened. It's cruel.

How nice will it be to live in the era when you finally have a time machine? You could just put yourself inside and then you can change any mistakes you've made. But, you know, even if there was a time machine, I don't feel like you would change the past. I don't feel like you would sacrifice your 'fun' time with her for me. I don't feel like I am that special to you. I don't worth a thing, do I? If I say that, you probably will say the best poetry you can ever say. But we both know that you're lying.

I have always been a game to you, right?
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🚀🌞🌏🚀🌞🌏🚀🌞🌏🚀🌞🌏

Its a short update!!
this shows that taylor is so fucking done with harry.
so she wrote this short note.

but don't worry, i'll update today to let you know the whole story

aethel x

Update:

Re-writing because i felt like this chapter is shit and i made it better. I hope it is. I hope it make sense.

I love you guys a lot and honestly, i read ALL of your comments and it made me laugh so yea keep doing that lols

thank you for reading and voting! feel free to comment (swear words are allowed, dont worry)