Nobody Compares

Soul Mate

Niall's Pov 

I read all the journal entry's and added on to the last one. Now reading over it I  

realize how stupid I was to ever think this could have ended any other way. 

Journal

As soon as I got home I slammed the door and locked it. I didn't want to see or talk to anyone. I didn't want to be constantly reminded Cindy was gone, it didn't seem like she was and I guess a part of me feels like she still is here. I can't live without her, nothing will be the same. I found a soul mate, I was one of the lucky people that found that person they wanted to spend the rest of my life with. She liked me for me, not because I was in a boy band, she put up with me at my worst and still stuck around. I don't know what to do, maybe I should just end my life right here right now. We could be together again and forever. I didn't tell anyone but we planned to get married and start a family. We just didn't plan to now because of age and not having the time for a dog and one day children. I gave her a promise ring and I am not breaking it. Ever. No one could ever compare to her. I know we had our fair share of fights, ok maybe more then our fair share of fights but what relationship  doesn't. I told her things I could never tell anyone else without being judged. No one will ever understand me. As easy as it would be to just go kill myself I can't the band needs me and I don't want to interfere with their careers they have to have the right to be happy, don't they? 

Liam's Pov 

"She is gone, one of my best friends is "Gabbi cried into my shoulder. My own water works started "I feel the same way" I sobbed into her blonde hair. Zayn just sat in the arm chair and looked into blank space and hasn't uttered a word since he found out. Louis and Harry just cried together as did Hannah and Tyler. Nicolette's boyfriend, Hunter flew in earlier and tried to calm her down but she was in hysterics. Everyone was hurt we had all grown to love each other. No one is even close to as hurt as Niall is. Every little bit of hope he had is smashed into bits. He locked himself in Cindy's room but left a few minutes ago not even saying a word to anyone. I am so worried about him and can only hope he won't do anything stupid. Minutes later Niall returned with a brown bag and went straight back to her bedroom. 

Niall's Pov

I uncapped the pint of clear liquid and took a long sip. The Vodka burned as it traveled down my throat. I haven't drank in over a year, but you know nothing matters now. I took another long drink from the bottle. I feel bad for every drop that I drink but as I start to drink more the guilt goes away. That is until I look over to see a picture of Cindy and I smiling taped to a mirror.  

Flashback

"You promise you won't drink as much as you did last time?" Cindy asked in a serious tone as we entered the loud club."Yeah babe I promise" I smiled down. She just raised her eyebrow but made her way to the bar. Eventually I drank so much I couldn't even spell my own name and this one guy kept yelling sexual things at Cindy. It was pissing me off so I decided to say something, "Stop talking about my girlfriend like that" I screamed over the music. "Girlfriend?" The tall tan guy asked. I nodded my head. He let out a laugh and then said "I don't know why she would be with you" My blood was boiling, maybe it only made me mad because what he said  was true. Why is she with me. I got up and pushed him causing him to stumble backwards. He pushed me back causing me to stumble backwards as well. I pulled my arm back just as I was going to let my arm fly Cindy jumped in the middle. "Niall stop!" She yelled throwing her hands in the air. "No now move the fuck out of my way "I slurred. "Come on let's go home "She pleaded grabbing my hand. "No why is he your boyfriend too, are you whoring around?" I asked as I pulled my hand away and pushed her away causing her to fall on to the ground. "She pulled herself up and walked straight up to me and yelled, "Don't you ever put your hands on me you fucking drunk, we are done I am sick of you and your drinking problem" Before her hand came in contact with my cheek and she walked away and towards the door. The clicking of heels and the slap to the face sobered me up enough to get me to realize what I had just done. I ran after her and went outside. I looked at the dark streets until I seen a familiar figure walking at a brisk pace. "Cindy!" I yelled so she would stop walking. She turned around and looked at me before walking faster. Once I finally caught up to her and tried to talk to her she wouldn't say anything back. Soon we were at our shared apartment. She stomped up the stairs and walked straight into our room. I just thought it was one of those small arguments until I seen Cindy pull out a suit case and start stuffing her property into it. "Cindy?" I asked it coming out more child like then expected. She didn't even look up just continued with what she was doing. I walked over and gently pushed her onto the bed and pinned her arms and legs. "I swear to god of you don't get the fuck off of me" Cindy screamed. "Listen to me" I begged standing us both up and letting go off her limbs. "No" she said crossing her arms. "I am sorry" I apologized. "I'm tired of you being sorry this happens every time we go out" Cindy yelled as she turned around to continue packing. "I won't do it again" I promised as I turned her back around. "No Niall you will do it again, I am not going to be in a relationship with an alcoholic, you cannot control yourself and turn into the biggest ass alive, tonight was the last straw I can't take this" Cindy said as tears fell out of her eyes and ran a hand through her long dark hair. "Please don't leave me" I begged as I pulled her into a hug. "Niall I am not being with someone who's drinking is this out of control" She said as she tried pry herself out of my grip which just caused me to tighten it. "I will stop drinking baby" I promised as I fell onto the bed taking her with me. "No you won't" Cindy stated matter of factly. "I promise you I will never drink alcohol again" I said as I attacked her face with kisses and whipped away the tears. "I swear the first time I see you with alcohol I will never talk to you again and leave forever" She spoke harshly. I nodded my head and brought her closer to me."I am not joking ,you better take this serious"She warned. I glanced at her arm to see a bruise forming. "Did I do that?" I asked lightly running my thumb over the mark. She nodded her head. "I didn't know what I was doing, I swear to you I will never drink again "I said as I held up my pinkie. Cindy rose her hand and shook my pinkie. 

End of Flashback

I broke that promise. If Cindy was here she would be so pissed and disappointed. She would probably hate me. I walked to the window and slid it open and dumped the remaining contents of the container. I slammed the window shut and through the empty container on the floor and made my way to the bed. I clamped my eyes closed expecting the darkness to take over but it didn't. I just wanted to sleep and dream about what can never happen, where I don't have any problems. I have never felt so alone in my life and I could do nothing about it. 

Harry's Pov

It hurts to know that one of my best friends are gone. Louis is helping me get through it without him I would be even more of a wreck then I am now.  

I watched as his chest rose and fell. Louis was laying next to me because he tired himself out crying. At first he tried to hide the sorrow but I know Louis and talked him into letting it out. As I watched Louis sleep I wondered how could someone look so perfect without even being aware of it. Even when he was sleeping his hair fell into all the perfect places when I sleep I'm pretty sure I look like a butt naked mole rat. Today's events didn't go as expected and everyone's hurting but personally I am scared for Niall. He doesn't talk to us, I haven't seen him eat anything all day and he locked his door and won't let anyone in. I guess I just kind of expected Cindy to just one day wake up and everything be back to normal but you know what they say, everything happens for a reason. Why, what will this cause besides negatives? I am at the point where everything just makes me mad. Why does life have to be so hard? Who is going to ask all these unanswered questions? Cindy was more then just my mates girlfriend, she was one of my best friends and we had quite a few heart to heart moments. She knew I had feelings for Louis too, the day after I kissed Hannah she found out. No one else knew at the time, not even Louis. She guessed and at first I denied it but she just wouldn't take no for an answer. I finally admitted it and she didn't take me for some Homo freak. Cindy was always there for me to vent my feelings and never judged me once, except for the time I admitted I liked to sniff different cheese when I get bored but yanno I am pretty sure anyone would. Nothing is going to feel the same and nothing will be the normal anymore, Cindy is not a phone call away anymore.