My Saving Grace (book 2)

August, 2025

Scott's P.O.V.

The next couple of weeks were hard and I mean really hard. The first night although difficult was definitely not the hardest. We didn't tell the kids when we got back to Mitch's, not that Toby hadn't seen enough to know already.

We stayed at Mitch's apartment as neither of us had a car or the energy to move. In the middle of the night as Alex and I sat awake in silence, staring at the ceiling of Mitch's spare bedroom, I heard screaming. Blood curdling screaming. Alex and I both ran to the source of the sound, finding Toby on the couch fighting against his blanket, screaming his head off, his eyes closed tightly. Mitch and Seb appearing behind us and Jessica sitting bolt upright on the other couch, wide awake.

"Toby, wake up. It's just a dream." I shook his body awake as he kicked against my hands. I tried to hold his body still. "Toby, wake up!" I said a little louder as his eyes snapped open. His breathing was heavy and tears fell down his face, his eyes wide. "It was just a dream." I whispered as he fell into my arms.

"No, it wasn't. There was blood. He wasn't moving. Daddy was crying. It was all happening again." Toby's voice shook as he spoke between breaths. I slowly lifted him into my arms and turned back towards the door, Alex telling Jessica to go back to sleep and that everything was okay.

"Sorry for waking you." I told Seb and Mitch. They nodded, telling me that it was okay and then heading back off to their bedroom. I carried Toby back to the room that we were sleeping in, Alex following close behind. I sat back down on the bed, holding Toby against my chest. He sniffled as he tried to stop crying.

"Where's Noah? Is he okay? Did they make him better?" He rambled, his head snuggling into my chest. I looked at Alex who blinked back tears and sat back down next to me. I ran my fingers through Toby's hair and rocked him back and forth.

"We'll explain everything tomorrow. You just try and get back to sleep okay?" Alex told him. I dreaded telling them. I had barely excepted it then, how would they? Toby soon fell asleep in my arms and the room returned to silence but I could tell that Alex was crying. But I was too.

The day after we found out we had to go back to the hospital and sign a form to say that Noah's body could be moved to a morgue. We then had to start organising the funeral, which was near to impossible. How do you organise a funeral for someone who had so much life left in them? We did it though.

We also told both of the kids. Toby didn't understand to start with. He asked when Noah would be coming back which made Alex and I cry. We tried to explain that he wasn't and that he had gone to heaven. Jessica cried and said that she was sad. She said that she wanted to see Noah again but she couldn't. It was hard to tell two young children that their baby brother had died. How were they to understand something like that? That they would never see him again. Jessica knew that her parents were dead but she didn't really know them but she knew Noah.

Death is a hard thing to comprehend. It can be so unpredictable. It can make you feel sad. It can make you feel angry. It can make you feel like ripping your insides out. It can also make you wish you were in that persons place.

God, I wished I was in Noah's place. I wished that I had been knocked down by that car and not him. I wished I was him and he was me.

The funeral rolled around, which was a blur. Everyone who came cried. The priest who spoke, who we knew personally, said how bright and happy he was. How he loved to sing and perform. How he would've one day grew up to be like me. But he didn't. His life was taken from him too soon.

After the funeral I stood by his grave. Looking down at the freshly turned over soil and the newly put in head stone. Silent tears slipped down my face. I could hear the grass moving behind me and then a pair of small arms were flung around my waist, hugging me tightly. I looked down to see Jessica. She looked up at me her brown eyes full of tears. "Don't cry, daddy. Everything is going to be alright. Pain doesn't last forever." She reassured me.

I slowly let myself fall to my knees, wrapping my arms around her and squeezing her tightly. I let some more tears fall down my face. "You're the most amazing little girl I know. You're so strong and smart and I never want you to let anyone tell you otherwise." I told her. I could feel her starting to shiver in my arms as she cried.

"Thank you...." She paused for a little while. "You know it's not your fault, right?" She asked and I nodded slowly. "And it's not daddies fault either. It's no ones fault." She whispered. I nodded again, lifting her into my arms as I stood.

"I know, kiddo, I know."

As the days rolled along so did our lives. It was quiet around the house everyday. I didn't sleep much, waking up from either Alex's or Toby's screams. They had both seen it happen and both had vivid nightmares of that day. I went to rehearsals most days, not really contributing but going because it took my mind off of everything.

Alex would disappear a lot, going for runs or to the gym. It was his way of coping and taking his mind off of it I guess. Which was hard since he blamed himself. He said it was his fault and that he wishes he was dead instead. It's not his fault though. The fault was that of Noah and the driver. Noah had run out onto the road to get a ball and not looked and the driver drove into him, not seeing him. We didn't press charges. The driver was scarred enough, suffering from PTSD and blaming himself completely on the accident.

I tried to make Alex feel better, like he did for me all those years ago but it was hard. I was grieving too. Whenever I looked at Alex I saw Noah laughing. Whenever I looked at Toby I saw Noah himself. When I looked at Jessica I saw them playing together. When I looked in the mirror I heard Noah singing. When I talked I cried.

Toby and Jessica were due to go back to school in a couple of days and we weren't ready. We had most of their books but nothing else was prepared. We hadn't even told the school that Noah wouldn't be attending their school anymore.

It was all so hard and it was only about to get harder.

A/N
Kind of short fillerish chapter. Hope you guys liked. I received a minimal amount of death threats for the last chapter so thank you! Haha!
I go back to school tomorrow *insert crowd booing* so that means I may not be able to update as often! But I'll try none the less. Okay that's all from me! Love yall!