Self Hate

3

Orianna

"What colors do you have in mind?" I asked August as we walked around the big room.

"Ion know, they like that girly shit." He shrugged.

"So maybe pink and like a lavender?" I contemplated with myself. "Hm. I say three full sized bed lined up right here. Then maybe a small chandelier."

I said everything I saw in my vision of how I wanted for the room to be.

"That sounds okay." He said.

"Okay? Maybe you should have them here next time because you're no help."

"Well Ion know what girls like."

"You should know what your neices like." I made notes of what would go nice in the room.

"Why you always look so damn mean? Smile.....unless ya got ugly teeth." He laughed making a chuckle escaped my lips. "See thea' ya go."

My smile quickly left, "It's time for me to go. I'll stop by tomorrow to go over the budget." I grabbed my purse.

He grabbed my arm before I could turn around.

"You still neva' took me up on my offa'. I know ya got my note."

"I did, but my boyfriend wouldn't like me hanging out with you." I softly spoke.

"Ain't no harm, I'm just a friend." He flashed a smile.

"......Okay." I finally agreed.

"Then I'll see you tomorrow, Sunrise."

"What's with the nickname?"

"You said ya name means sunrise so I figured I'd call you that--unless you don't want me to."

"No...I like it." I smiled.

"Is that anotha' smile? I'm on a roll." He gave himself an applause.

Cameron says nobody would want anything to do with me. But it's just something about August. For once in my life I'm taking a risk by letting my guard down.

He walked me out to my car and we exchanged numbers. When I was finally out of his sight I grabbed the bottle out my glove compartment. I let out a sigh of relief when I took the first drink. That's what I've been waiting for all day.

I finished the whole thing before goin inside my condo. Just like every day I was greeted by Cameron.

"Hey baby. How was work?" He gave me a genuine smile.

"Good. Is it a special occasion?" I was utterly confused.

"No, why would you think that?" He got up and pecked my lips.

Cameron never kisses my lips.

He doesn't even touch me. And the times he does chooses to touch me is when we have sex. That only lasts about two minutes. Cam doesn't last very long.

"Orianna! You just get more beautiful every time I see you." His mother, Georgia walked out the kitchen.

"Don't fill her head, mom." Cam wrapped his arm around my waist.

"Oh, hush Cameron, you have a gorgeous girlfriend." She pulled me into a tight hug.

Georgia loves me so I have no idea where Cam got his personality from. But his father was never around so maybe that's my answer.