Self Hate

2

Orianna

I woke up in me and Cameron's bed. It was quiet so he must be at work.

"Good morning baby." Cameron came in the room smiling.

"Good morning." I shot him a forced smile.

"You have work in an hour."

I kicked the covers off me. My body was half naked as I was only in my bra and panties. It made me sick to my stomach because all my scars were visible. My finger tips grazed over the 'ugly' scar. That day will never be forgotten...

The fourteen year old me walked down the halls of Fine Arts Middle School trying to scurry to my next class. That was until my body was thrown against a locker. I groaned in pain and looked up to see my attacker.

Lacey.

Along with her followers Grace and Nicole.

"Get up your ugly ass up." She spoke with vemon lacing her voice.

Before I could get up she kicked me in my side. Then she and her friends continued their assault. People stood by just watching or recording.

When they were done they walked off laughing. I went through the day in pain. Teachers looked at me with concern when they saw me but never said anything. That day I went home rushing past my mom giving her a quick hello.

I took out the false bottom of my jewelry box coming in contact with my razor. I quickly grabbed it and locked my bedroom door.

One cut was for this hideous skin I was in.

Another cut for being ugly.

Another cut for being upset that God made me ugly.

I was envious of Lacey and her friends. The pretty light skins of the school always getting invited to things. Every boy asked them out.

Why couldn't I be like them?

Tears rolled down my face as I engraved the word ugly into my arm. My vision started blurring as my mom tried to get in my room. The last thing I heard was my father barging in the room.

"My baby!" She screamed, running to me.

That was the last thing I remember before waking up in a hospital bed.

"Orianna!" Cameron shouted.

I realized that I've been in deep thought. I'm just ready to get this day over with. I took me a quick shower and got dressed in my classy attire.

"You wearing that?" Cameron asked, examining my outfit.

"Yeah. You like it?" I smiled.

"Eh, you could lose a couple pounds." He showed no emotion.

My smile dropped, "I'm actually.... underweight, Cameron."

"I can't tell." He shrugged.

I sighed before getting my keys out my beach bag. That's when I came across a folded napkin.