Hello Sunshine

Kinsey/Sam

KINSEY

The pavement was that dark grey colour it got when it was raining. The overcast sky made speckles of monochrome with the clouds, along with the drips of water hitting the window... it was more interesting than the puzzle Dr. Greene had laid out for us at least.

"How are you feeling today, physically?"

She'd always tactfully asked about my physical health as a whole instead of directing her attention to my missing limb.

"My leg's a little sore, nothing unusual," I mumbled and pressed a piece into the semi-complete puzzle. Dr. Greene tapped her chin and sorted different lines of pieces she'd connected together. I wondered if she was stalling for my benefit, she must've completed this puzzle many times over.

"Was that a classmate of yours in the waiting room?"

I frowned and looked up. "Who? Sam?"

Dr. Greene nodded absently as she focused on slotting her lined pieces into the bigger picture. Why did she care that Sam was here?

"Do you know why he's attending therapy?" She asked me.

She was really throwing me off now. "Isn't that his business?"

Dr. Greene smiled like she knew a secret I didn't.

I'd started seeing her immediately after the accident, and first when I couldn't get out of the hospital due to missing a limb, she'd come down from her office and sit with me in my room. It was easy to open up at first, I knew that holding back in therapy would only hurt me in the long run, but here I was a year later and it felt like I hadn't made any progress whatsoever.

I thought of what to say when she didn't speak. "I visited him, after a session with you, while he was in the hospital."

Her eyebrows rose a fraction. "That was a very considerate thing to do, Kinsey. Do you know him well?"

I shook my head and pressed an eye puzzle piece into the ducks face.

"What made you pay him a visit, then?"

"I..." Why had I visited him? To see he was doing okay? To see he was still alive? To drop off my card? "I don't really know," I finally choked out.

Dr. Greene nodded. She was always nodding.

"Did you talk at all?"

"No, he was sleeping."

"Have you had a chance to talk to him since he was released from the hospital?"

My shoe caught the carpet and I rubbed my forefinger and thumb together. "A little... but I decided that I'm going to be his friend."

She readjusted her glasses and her light, easy smile widened. "I think that is a wonderful idea, Kinsey. Befriending a lonely person can really make the world of difference to them."

Sam didn't seem lonely to me. I knew he wasn't the most popular at school but he was friends with Louis, and I knew he had family so he wasn't devoid of company. 

"He doesn't want to be my friend, though." That much was obvious, he was very curt and abrasive.

"I think time is what he'll need, that boy is probably experiencing a lot of emotions right now, time heals most things."

Most. Not all. Of course, time could not grow back my leg. But, maybe over time, Sam could open up to me a little.

SAM

"You can take it off, if you're comfortable doing that."

I sent a glare to my new therapist, Dr. Redwin, who I'd been ignoring for the past ten minutes. They looked alternative with an experimental mullet and a nose ring, not really a therapist stereotype. 

"Take what off?"

They motioned to me with a light finger movement. "Your jumper, you've been messing with it."

My hand deftly dropped into my lap from where it was pulling the fabric away from my skin. Had I been doing that a lot? For fucks sake. It wasn't my idea to wear this, a nurse at the hospital 'suggested' it to Gloria to make things a little easier with the transition back to school. Yeah, right.

I wanted to take it off, but couldn't stand the idea of it at the same time.

So I left it on.

Dr. Redwin crossed one leg over the other and smiled at me. "This is a space free of judgement, Samuel. Would you like to talk about what happened?"

"No."

"What about school?"

"Definitely not."

"Hmm," they hummed, tapping their chin. "What about your family?"

Just wouldn't fucking give up, would they? This was going to be relentless for the next thirty minutes. "What about them?" I asked blandly.

"I understand your father was a firefighter, is that correct?"

My fist clenched. Why were they mentioning him? "Yeah, he was."

"I'm very sorry for your loss, Samuel. I lost my mother when I was just starting school as well."

Did they think just because they lost a parent we were suddenly in the same boat? They could read my file all day until it turned to night and it wouldn't make a difference, they could conclude in my grief and possibly bullying at school that that's what drove me to try and kill myself, whatever made it easier for everyone to stop. 

Just stop everything.