Red Star

Now Part 5

Once, when lying on burned grass after a mission, Ralph told Rosa that he loved her. His voice cracked, he bit his lip, but he never looked away.

She replied by telling him that he was an idiot.

Another time, when tangled among sheets and covers, Ralph begged Rosa to stop him from falling in love with her.

She just laughed.

One time, very close to the end, Rosa apologised. And told him she loved him too and that she always had.

Ralph couldn't reply.

But now?

All Rosa can think about is her meds. She needs her meds. Right now.

Because for the first time in almost a year, she can hear a voice in her head, whispering.

It's going to get bad. She can feel it. Heat trails down her spine and twists down to her fingernails. Blazing heat, as if flames dance underneath her numerous layers of skin.

It'll be minutes. She's going to have an episode and she won't let it happen. She can't. She's come this far, and she will refuse to be brought back to that place of terror.

Water. That's what Frank gets her. He pours it on her arms and the top of her head, similar to dowsing a fire. She could get to water in the common room just down the hall! She could grab her meds from her clutch, which is no where to be seen, run to the water cooler, drink water with the meds and pour the rest over herself. Perfect plan. She'd be fine then. Not great, but passable.

All she needs is her emerald green clutch and for Ralph to get the fuck out of the room.

First, finding the clutch, which is pretty difficult while staying statue-still.

Ralph finds it at the exact same time as Rosa remembers where she left it.

"What the..." His voice trails off and she can hear him move closer to the desk to pick it up, hears him run his fingertips against the patent leather covering the clasp.

His voice is the same and it brings a new wave of tears to the extinguished trails marking her cheeks. It's the same voice that drunkenly greeted her in the bar on the first night they met, the same voice that gasped when he saw her again the morning after, the same voice that suggested solutions to problems he created, the same voice which declared love, the same voice that broke when she refused to let him in, the same voice that growled as he pulled her towards him in a passionate embrace, the same voice that said goodbye for the last time and the very same voice that came back.

The same voice which says her name like a secret when it must dawn on him that she's in the chair.

"Rosa." He breathes while she sharply inhales.

She can't speak. Can't move. She's paralysed by shock.

She hears him move tentatively closer, feels him grasp the back of the chair, feels him press his fingertips into the leather, waiting to pull it around to face him.

No such luck.

Douglas (plodding footsteps) all but bursts into the room by the sound of it, putting a stop to Ralph's big reveal.

"Get out!" He growls, however it sounds like there isn't any malice in it at all. She feels Ralph release his hand from the chair and hears him step away.

"Hey, man! You look good!" Ralph says, and Rosa cries again because so much has changed since Ralph died. Died? That was a lie. So what else was a lie?