the boy on the cliff ☯

anywhere

It is getting dark, but light floods from the bright shop windows, making the frosty pavement sparkle and shimmer. I can smell food cooking, the scent drifting from restaurant windows. I hate walking walking home alone. Chanyeol was off sick from school today, which means he isn't here to walk me home himself, an act he does daily without fail.
I wish he was here now. It can't be later then half past four, maybe five, and yet it's already pitch dark. The only way I know to get to the other side of town is to walk down a lot of unlit alleyways, behind the shops and houses and cafes, where all the old derelict factories are. Great. Just freaking perfect.
I wouldn't care if Chanyeol was here. He'd hold my hand and talk non-stop like he always does. He always makes me feel so safe. I've only been away from him for 24 hours and I miss him so much.
I stuff my hands in my pockets and walk around the corner. I can hear people yelling in the distance. I stiffen up, but I keep walking, my steps short and automatic. The light fades as I walk further down the street, away from the comfortingly busy high street. There are no street lamps here, just tall buildings and the wide, dark sky. It is cloudy, the half-moon shrouded with smoky grey. Everything is shadowy and uncertain. I try not to mind.
The pathway gets narrower, and I realise that I'm not entirely sure where I'm going. I've only gone this way a few times before on my own, and that was in broad daylight. I can't recognise a single thing. Have I taken a wrong turn? I stop still, glancing around. Should I go back? I'm already going to be late home, as it is. I keep walking.
Half-demolished factories tower over me, silhouetted against the sky. I hear more shouting, then scuffling, a loud crash. My pace quickens until I'm almost running. I'm not scared, I tell myself. I shouldn't be scared. I'm totally fine.
I just want to get home.
"Hey!"
I jump, and then look around frantically, trying to work out where the voice came from.
"Baek?"
I relax instantly. I know that voice. Relieved yet slightly confused, I tilt my head back, looking up.
Chanyeol is sitting up on a balcony of an old abandoned buildings, his legs woven through the bent, broken railings.
"What are you doing?" I shout. "I thought you were-"
Chanyeol shakes his head in the darkness.
"No questions." He tells me. "And look, if you go round the back of the building, just take the stairs and you can get to me from the third floor. Just be careful - the stairs have kind of collapsed."

Fifteen minutes later, I am sitting beside him in the darkness, and I don't quite know why.
"Why weren't you at school? I thought you were ill. And why are you here now, of all places?" I pull my hood down and cling to the rusty metal railings in front of me.
Chanyeol shrugs. "It doesn't matter."
"Yeol... Are you okay?"
"Yeah. I think." He frowns, but then looks up at me, a faint smile appearing on his face.
"Hey, but you're here now. That makes everything better." He pulls me close, his arm wrapped around my torso. I forget that we are on the balcony of a grotty abandoned apartment building, that I can barely see a thing, and that the temperature is probably sub-zero. It doesn't matter where I am when I'm with Chanyeol. With him, everything is instantly perfect, a million times more than it actually is. I blink. My eyes have adjusted to the darkness now.
"We shouldn't be here..." I take my hand off of the railing. Tiny flakes of rust come away in my palm.
"Why not? There's no one to stop us." The boy beside me reasons. "It's quiet. No one else is here. It's a nice place."
"Mm." I hum. It's not quiet, it's abandoned. Deafeningly silent. Lonely.
How can he really like a place like this?
"Baek... We're still going to run away, aren't we?"
"Yeah. 'Course we are. That's what you want, isn't it?" I look at Chanyeol, my eyes straining in the darkness. His hair is messy, all fluffed up at the front. I can see the outline of his ears, sticking out away from his face.
He nods once. "But... Is it what you want, too?"
"If you do, then I do, too." I say firmly, staring out across the rooftops, and I mean it.
The air smells rancid, like petrol and smoke. It prickles my nostrils and gives me a headache.
Chanyeol pulls me even closer to him. His fingers are cold and pale as stone, but as they lace around mine they feel as alive as anything. He nuzzles into my neck, his soft hair tickling my cheek.
"You're so cold." I whisper. "How long have you been out here?"
Chanyeol pulls his head away from me slightly, and plants a tiny kiss on my lips, so softly that I'm not entirely sure it really happened.
"I don't know. I lose track of time a lot. A while?" He says.
"You really are going to get sick. It's like minus a thousand degrees out here." I huff.
"But I've got you to keep me warm." Chanyeol leans against me appreciatively.
"I can't wait," He murmurs. "For next year. We could go anywhere. I can't wait to get out of here."
"Anywhere." I echo. Anywhere sounds scary, overwhelming, and yet, simultaneously, exactly what I want.
Chanyeol's eyes flutter closed, and then open. I notice the dark smears beneath his eyes. His eyes, shining black pools in the starlight, seem empty.
"What's wrong, Chan?"
"I told you. I'm fine. You don't have to worry about me." He assures.
I'm not entirely convinced, but I drop it. I glance at my watch, squinting at it desperately in the dark.
"It's getting late, I -"
"Don't go. Please." His voice is weak suddenly, hopeful and pleading.
"I really have go soon." I say uncertainly.
"Please... Just stay a bit longer. I don't want to be on my own. I don't want tonight to end."
His words form in a cloud of breath before him. He sounds so desperate, so helpless.
"I know... " I whisper. "I wish I could stay. I'd stay with you forever if I could." In the back of my mind, I realise how cheesy that sounds, but in the moment, it seems like the right thing.
Chanyeol smiles faintly, but his eyes don't light up.
"Okay... But, Baek?"
"Yeah?" I stand up.
"Remember, anywhere. Anywhere you can think of."