the boy on the cliff ☯

him

When I get home, it hits me. It could have been him. Really him.
And I didn't realise. I ignored him.
I flop on my bed and kick off my trainers.
I found him - and I didn't even realise.
Then again, it might not even have been him. I mean, tall guys with gorgeous hair aren't exactly a rarity. The boy I bumped into had these ears that kind of stuck out, impossible to miss. Pixie ears. Elf ears. I can't remember if Chanyeol had ears like that. If he had, I'd definitely have noticed. I try hard to picture Chanyeol in my mind but I can't remember the details. I remember his eyes that shone almost like stars, his black sweater with the sleeves that drooped slightly over his hands.
It feels kind of like I made him up. Like he never really existed.
But I remember holding his arm that day, and it felt warm and solid and curved and so alive under my fingers.
I sit up slowly and swing my legs over the side of the bed, scrunching my toes into thick, soft carpet.
I can see the cliff from my window. Part of it, anyway. A looming silhouette in the darkness.
I shiver.

He's there. Really, actually there. A few feet away, sitting at a table on his own. His face is mostly hidden by the book he is reading.
It's him. I'm not dreaming. A mottled bruise stands out on the pale skin of his face.
Him.
My eyes are glued to him. I notice his straight dark eyebrows, his freaking angel nose, his fairy ears...
It was him.
I walked into him. My face was pressed into his neck. I still remember the softness of his clothes, the smell of his skin. Tangy and fresh and sweet, like Sprite.
I feel the blood rushing to my face.
Somewhere in the back of my mind I realise that I'm still beaming at him like a creep, but I can't pull my eyes away from him. I scan my eyes over every inch of his body, taking it all in so I'll never forget. I never want to forget.
He puts his book down carefully next to his plate and looks up, and I duck my head down so he doesn't see me. I can't tell if he saw or not. I don't dare look up in case he did. I'd totally forgotten about my own food. Realising how hungry I am, I start eating.
And then I look up.
Chanyeol is glaring at me, his eyebrows furrowed. I almost choke.
What if he recognises me? Oh, god, he recognises me.
I try to look away again like I never saw him in the first place, but even I can tell it isn't convincing.
My eyes trail involuntarily back to him. He's opened his book again, turning pages and eating in turn.
"Baekhyun? Stop staring at that kid, it's really weird. And why are you all red?" Sehun asks from beside me. "Oh my god, do you like him?" He squeaks.
"What?" I splutter. "No, you freak!"
Sehun raises his eyebrows and huffs.
I can kind of see what he means.

It doesn't properly sink in until I am I walking home, my bag banging against my back with every step.
He goes to my school.
He knows who I am.
And I think he hates me.