"Anything?", he laughed as he towered over me.
"Well, not anything too ridiculous like forcing me to give you an exorcism or something like that because you and I both know that you're way past the boundary of insane-"
"Shut your mouth", he spat, slapping me harshly on the cheek.
"What do you want then?", I sighed, looking up at him as he began to think... wow, that was a first.
Ohhhhh snap pew pew pew get reeeekt
"I know what you did with your friend, by the way", he chuckled, watching as my expression stayed fairly mundane.
"So what, I know that you like to smother barbecue sauce on your chest when you shower-", I started.
"HOW DO YOU KNOW THAT?!", he blurted, grabbing my wrist as he shook me vigorously.
"You always smelt a bit tangy", I sniggered as his expression flickered from outraged to embarrassed.
"Shit", he sighed, "fine, don't tell my girlfriend about that and I won't show Mum and Dad the video".
"Deal", I grinned obnoxiously as I shook his hand.
"I do hate you, you know that right?", he said, slamming the door behind him as he left.
"Of course, Mr Prickstick".
I turned back to my laptop and responded to Dan:
"Sorry to leave you hanging, my brother just saw the video and he felt like he needed to rub it in my face".
"If I were him I'd have defo added it to 'watch later', mmm gotta save that action for another time ;)"
"You're so cheeky, omg I wish I could just kiss you"
"Unfortunately that's physically impossible in the world of pixels, Philip Lester. How about I send you a heart emoticon instead to ease the pain? <3"
"Oh great, thanks I feel so much better now"
"Nailed it. Oh yeah, before I forget, you should watch this video, it's pretty rad :D
[YouTube link]"
Without thinking twice I clicked on the link until Never gonna give you up instantly started playing.
I closed the tab within the matter of seconds, crippling over in laughter.
"SCREW YOU xD"
"You'll screw me? Again? Woah, Mr Lester, someone needs a chill pill ;P"
"I hate you, Dan"
"I love you, Phil"
Once again, I was greeted with more knocking on my door. "Hey Sweetheart, can I come in? I don't want to ruin your jamming session", my mum called, I could sense her embarrassing dancing radiating from the other side of the door.
"No, it's okay, you can come in", I said, watching her enter, confirming my theory as I saw her randomly wiggling her arms around.
"Please stop", I wailed, shutting my eyes.
"Sorry darling", she chuckled, patting me on the head.
"You should be", I scoffed, giving her an embarrassed look.
"Anyway, I have something I'd like to talk to you about", she said, sitting down on my bed opposite me.
"Listen Mum, if it's about my internet search history then it's all Martyn's fault-"
"No actually, it's not about that but it does concern Martyn", she muttered, shuffling around awkwardly.
"The other day he said his uh 'fun gel' went missing", she said, scratching her head.
Silence
"Mum, what the flying duck is 'fun gel'", I sighed as she smiled innocently.
"You know the stuff that young men use to-".
"Use to what?".
"Make their area... wet??".
"You mean, Lube, mum?".
"Yes".
"Then say Lube".
"I will".
"Good".
I exhaled heavily, clasping my face in my palms.
"So Martyn's 'Lube' went missing the other day", my Mum said, "and he said you gave it back to him but it was lighter".
"So what?", I shrugged, making it seem like not that big of a deal.
"Did you use some of the fun ge-"
"LUBE. SAY LUBE BEFORE I JUMP OUT THE WINDOW!", I yelled in sheer embarrassment.
"Did you use his LUBE".
"Why does it matter?".
"Just answer me please", she crossed her arms.
"Yes I did".
"Why would you use it though? You had your friend around, you wouldn't have needed it-"
My face uncontrollably flushed bright red.
My mum examined my expression, "um, Phil? Is he your boyfriend?".
Silence
My face was shockingly red now and my mum started smiling.
"Go on".
I nodded slightly and she started smiling like a possessed fangirl that had been told her otp was canon.
"That's so sweet, honey! You should've told me sooner though, I'd have understood!", she grinned, patting me on the back as she left the room.
Well that was the most awkward fucking experience I've ever been through, someone please shoot me in the face. I want to crawl up into a ball for 2 years.
I reluctantly sent Dan a message back as my heart felt heavy in my chest:
"My mum knows about everything"
He responded in a heartbeat:
"WHAAAA-?!"
YOU ARE READING
Phan: Blurred Admirer - High School AU
Fanfiction*Phan Smut* (Yay) xD Phil was always one for missing things, he was always too late. Leaving things 'till the last minute every time. Always unlucky in love. Perhaps this time, he might catch something before it slips away for eternity. This is a Ph...
Chapter 12
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