The Piano Year

Red Rose

Tuesday 14th January

Today is one month until valentine's day - who will your valentine be? Nobody. Josh and I will have given it all up by then. We're just waiting for everyone to calm down.

7pm: First thing in the morning, I came down to the end of the road and saw Josh waiting there with a single rose.

"Hey, Jade," he smiled. "Can I walk to school with you?" Could I really say no after he'd walked so far?!

"OK, but why are you acting now? I mean, there's nobody from school around..." I said.

He shrugged, tucking the rose behind my ear, "But if we walk into school together it will be more believable that we're dating!" He gave me a charming smile and offered me his arm. I took it.

I nodded, "I guess - let's hurry up. I don't want to be late..." I was trying to ignore the rose in my hair. It was scratching my ear.

As we walked Josh was a little bit more himself. You know, miserable and rude. We got to school and were actually being really bitchy to each other. Everyone was a little confused, considering our more loving behaviour yesterday. No wonder the rumours began that I had cheated on Josh with Fabien! Yes! Unbelievable! But Fabien soon set them straight. At lunch he yelled out so loudly, "JADE KEYS IS SO MUNTED!" I blushed miserably. Liza cast me a sympathetic smile from her table with Ryan.

Josh stood up, presumably to agree with Fabien and said, "No, she isn’t munted." I tugged at Josh’s jumper, begging him to sit down and leave it.

"Dude, you’re only saying that coz she's your girlfriend. You're blinded by love or something..." Fabien said.

"Maybe..." Josh shrugged, sitting back down. I stared at him, what was he playing at? That sort of talk would make people think we'd be going out for longer than the week I'd planned for.

“What the HELL where you doing up there?!” I hissed. Crowds of interested faces were watching us and my face was burning red. Rosie stood up and stormed out of the canteen and Liza was too busy kissing Ryan to care. I thought about standing up and leaving, but then everyone would see. So I smiled sweetly at Josh and hissed, “I’ll talk to you later.”

He raised his eyebrows in mock fear, “OK...It’s piano tomorrow, remember? Have you practised?”

“Umm – no! Remember how you said I should ask your Mum, well when I went to see her she was asking us why we weren’t going out so I didn’t...was I supposed to?” I asked, biting down on my lip nervously. I could still feel the faces watching us, I really wanted to run away and hide.

“Right, I’ll ask her today...” he said, smiling anxiously. “I’ll find her now if you want...?”

“Go on then,” I said. “See you...”

I walked home from school alone, leaving myself a lot of unwanted time with my thoughts. I got into the house to find mum sitting at the dining room table with just a notebook and phone with her, a strange lost look on her face.

"Mum?" I whispered, I didn't want to startle her.

"Jade," she smiled nervously, taking a sharp breath.

"What is it?" I asked, waiting for her answer...none came. "Is it Matthew?"

"No, no," Mum said. We paused again, she didn't even speak. "It's not him..." she said finally.

"Well what then? You pregnant? Got cancer? You gay?" I snapped.

"No...it's to do with you..." she said.

"What about me? Is it...?"

"Dad," she finished. "Yes. He called and left a message..."

"But he left us all that time ago...why did he call now?" I cried.

Mum shook her head, "I don't know..."

"What do you MEAN you don't know? YOU HEARD THE MESSAGE HE LEFT, FOR CRYING OUT LOUD!" I said, my heart was hammering. I'd felt so safe, so unnoticed, so hidden all this time...as if dad still was seeking for me and now I was exposed and he'd found me at last...

"I didn't listen...I only heard "Jade, it's your Dad" and hung up..." she said truthfully.

"I don't want to hear either," I said triumphantly heading upstairs. I keep wanting to call up the phone to hear what he has to say but then I remember how frightened and negative he made me and decided against it.