Discipline In A Ruffian Diamond (IshiMondo Fanfiction)

Broken Pieces

I used to be alone, shut off from the world, an outcast and no place to call home. 

I used to be weak, meek and pathetic. 

Hell, I still am. Yeah for fucking sure I may look tough on the outside, but what about on the inside? 

Have you ever felt silence in times when everything is fuckin' loud? Have you ever felt lonely despite being in a crowded as hell place? Have you ever just fuckin' felt worthless so hard that every damn sign of praise and respect are lies to you? That's how god damn pathetic I am. 

_________________________________________________________________________

We've been living in Ishi's house for a couple of weeks now, I've gotten quite used to walking in, having Ishi cook me up something delicious. As if the whole world doesn't matter. 

After dinner, we decide to go for a ride, I was able to salvage an old motorbike from a wreckage the other day, Ishi's lessons have been going pretty well too! Fuckin' considerin' he goes slower than an damn old guy on a scooter going uphill. But still this will be the first time riding with someone since that incident. 

I have to steady my pace so he can keep up with me.

"Fuckin' hell can you at least go a little faster?" I shouted.

"NO! speed limits are still in action despite the state of this country! And besides you're not wearing a helmet or other safety gear, not to mention the fact your Motor bike..." Ishi's chattering was drowned out by my groans.

"Geez, if I wanted to read a safety manual, I would've fuckin' hit you with it already, dumbass!" I spouted back, interrupting his safety babble.

"You know that doesn't even make sense, and don't underestimate safety, if you don't abide by the rules and regulations then you're going to get hurt!" Ishi shouted back, if he's this enthusiastic about safety then just imagine if he got crazy angry! Though I can't complain, his cute little hat and shin pads was pretty adorable... 

Our slow, real fuckin' slow ride was pretty alright! It's kind of relaxing to just take it slow, not being chased by the cops or racing some punks. After half an hour of riding, which would take me only  10 fuckin' minutes, we stopped off at a car park in the middle of god knows somewhere.  We decided to just lie down on the tarmac. Looking up at the now dark night sky, dead silence and the twinkling of the stars our only company. Was the sky always this beautiful? 

We sat for a good ten minutes just watching the sky, not talking, lay down next to each other.

"Hey, don't you think it's weird?" Ishi ended the silence, his voice was a bit loud and I moved a little.

"W-What are you fuckin' on about now" I answered, trying to mask my flustered behavior. 

"Well no matter what, or where, the stars are always there..." Ishi trailed off, I only caught the gist of what he was saying so I just agreed.

"Yeah pretty damn weird huh?" I replied, pretending I knew what he was on about.

"What I'm trying to say I guess..." Ishi started. He went silent for a moment, as if thinking hard about something.

"Is that even with doubt clouding your mind, you can always see the light, just like the stars, eventually you will find your way again..." I didn't dare to talk after that, it was pretty damn deep. I mean i'm a dumb fuck and it still hit me like a tonne of bricks. I guess it was the mood of the moment, he caught me off guard. I still didn't really understand most  of what he was saying though.

As we continued to gaze at the sky in silence, my mind began to wander into the past.

__________________________________________________________________________