Counting Down

Chapter 4

Sometimes existing is hard but I guess for me that's most days. Everything in my life seems to smoosh together. Months become weeks. Weeks become days, and those days, well, they just go on and on like no end. It feels like I'm in a loop over and over.

Over.

And.

Over.

Same people, same times, same routine. Wake up, get ready for the day, spike hair - well I guess I don't do that much these days anymore, say bye to Ma, have Ma question me about how i'm feeling, get to school, come home, and finally bed. It's the same over and over everyday without fail til it does. Until it changed or maybe I did.

"Kirishima," the soft voice of my therapist, Dr. Emiko, pulls me from my head.

"Yeah?" I say knowing I didn't hear a single thing she said and honestly do feel a bit bad about it.

"I thought we could discuss how things are going at UA for you," she says as she taps her pen lightly against her notepad. "Does that sound alright with you?"

"Yeah," I say and am glad to focus on that today and not how i'm doing mentally.

"How are you liking it so far?" she asks.

"It's good. It's really big which is kinda intimidating but everyone seems nice. Plus we all have similar goals which helps I suppose," I explain and for one of the first times I'm not lying to her.

"And what are your goals?"

"To become a hero," I say and it feels almost scripted against my tongue.

To become a hero. It's such a basic answer but it's what I want right? I want to be someone who can save people cause no one was there when I was the one that needed saving. It sounds like a reason enough reason to me. I watch as Dr. Emiko wrote something down on her notepad. Oh. oh. It was the wrong answer I guess.

"You don't believe me?" I ask and my voice is soft.

"Of course I believe you, Kirishima," she says as she looks at me and I can't bear to keep eye-contact. "I just feel like it's a good topic to come back to at a later point, just to bring more to the discussion. Does that make sense?"

"I guess," I mumble as I pick at the loose fuzz on the couch just wanting this appointment to be over already.

"Good. What about friends?" she asks.

"What about it?" I counter back and she lets out a sigh.

"Kirishima. Let's not do this back and forth again. You know why I'm asking," she says softly and she takes more notes. "Let's try again. How is your relationship with your classmates?"

"It's fine," I mumble. "There is this girl, Mina, and she hangs around me a lot."

"Would you count her as a friend?"

"I suppose. She's really loud all the time and talks non-stop, plus she likes to get in my space," I explain and I can't help the small smile etch across my face.

"That's good, Kirishima. I'm glad you were able to connect with someone," she says with a smile. "Is there anyone else?"

"Well, I guess," I mumble and Bakugo's face flashes in my mind.

"Would you like to talk about them?"

"No. I don't want to jinx it," I say and I let out a soft chuckle.

"Alright, but we will come back to that during a later appointment," she says as she writes more down in her notes.

Does she always write this much? Have I never noticed or is this new?