Celestial Strings Tied To You

Chapter 15

So even as I pressed my face against his chest, even as his embrace begged me to stay, my soul whispered the goodbye my lips could not speak.

"Kumain ka na ba?" Bumitaw ako sa yakap at tumango, pero it's a lie.

I only ate lunch today, just enough to keep myself standing. I just want to go to my room and hide under the silence.

This feels odd. Before, seeing him was the highlight of my day, something I could never get enough of. But now, I find myself wishing for distance.

"Are you okay?" Tumango ulit ako.

"Uh, Vince, may gagawin pa kasi ako. Mauna na muna ako ha?"

He looks worried, like he's doubting me, pero tumango pa rin siya. "Goodluck! Nandito lang ako ha?" Pilit akong ngumiti at tumango.

The truth is, I just want to cry. These days, it's been hard. Like there's something deep within me that's weighing me, but I don't even know what it is. And I've been distant, not just to Vince but from everyone.

Like I'm losing interest in anything.

"You resigned?!" Magkasabay na tanong nila Madie. Parehong nanglaki ang mga mata, hindi makapaniwala sa sinabi ko.

"Paanong..." Nica paused. "'Di ba gusto mo talaga maging org officer, kaya bakit ka nagresign?"

"I just want to focus on acads." Tumango sila.

Thankfully, they did not ask more questions. Baka bigla nalang akong umiyak dito.

It's true. I love being an organization officer. However, I can no longer do my duties there. Hindi ko na ito nagagawa ng maayos. I really thought about it for days, and now, nagawa ko na talaga.

I resigned.

At first, natatakot ako na baka kung ano ang sabihin nila. They voted for me and entrusted me with this position, pero ako ang kusang bumitaw. I just couldn't do it anymore.

And it's one thing that I can sacrifice. And I hope that this would be enough because I don't really want to lose Vince.

However, despite the fact that I already resigned, it feels like nothing has changed. I still feel pressured with everything.

Academics. Family expectations. Requirements that never seem to end.

At this moment, I have to let go of something else, it would be Vince. But I don't want to. Even though I've been thinking about that for more than a month now, I don't want to.

I will never want to.

So I tried. I am doing my best to revive what we had.

When I saw Vince at the library studying alone, I went to him, giving him my drink.

"Goodluck." I tried so hard to make my voice jolly.

He looks at me with a smile on his place. "Julie, you didn't have to."

But that wasn't the reaction that I expected.

"Kumain ka na ba?" He really loves asking me that. Like it's his favorite line.

"Hindi pa," I admitted.

"Should we eat lunch together?" Napangiti ako.

"Sure! Saan?"

He looks at his watch before saying, "Okay lang pa sa canteen lang? I have a class ngayong 1:30 eh."

I looked at the time and it's already 12:31 pm, kaya tumango nalang ako.

We talked for a while, but it wasn’t like what we used to. The conversation felt thinner, like water slipping through my hands. His laughter came slower, my words shorter.