Loving Loki

Wishing You Were Somehow Here Again

I screamed. As long and as loud as I could. Every emotion seemed to flow from me and reverberated off the cave walls. It drifted into the air, echoing gently. I relaxed against the cool wall. I drew my knees closely to my chest and lay with my back to the wall, on the ground. I let the darkness invade every sense, dimming my mind.

I allowed it to encase me and before I knew it, I had drifted into sleep.

**

Light was trying desperately to banish the darkness. I fought for a few moments longer. A few moments of painless sleep. But soon, the light took over. I slowly opened my eyes. Light flooded every sense. My wound ached and throbbed. My body was stiff from sleeping on the ground for so long.

I looked up and saw the sun had long been in the sky. It shone brightly through the glass ceiling. I brought myself into a seating position and looked about me. The ground had blood stains and the dirt had several boot prints. The walls seems to whisper long forgotten secrets. I let my eyes roam over to the cell.

I stared for several moments. Not daring to breath. I blinked quickly, making sure my mind was not tricking me. Sitting against one of the stone walls, sat Loki. He looked the same. His clothes and hair neat and perfect as always. His eyes were on me, watching me.

I stared back for several moments. I didn't know what to do. Was this real? Was I dreaming? An illusion maybe? I slowly stood, careful not to take my eyes off him. His eyes followed me. I stepped forward carefully. I winced slightly and brought a hand to my stomach. Loki moved his head so he could see me better.

I walked slowly forward. I reached the golden barrier and stared at it for a moment, taking my eyes off Loki for the first time. I slowly began to walk around the cell, circling it slowly. I returned to my starting point and stared at Loki. His head was tilted slightly to the side. His face was calm. I stared back. I reached a trembling hand up to touch the wall. It passes through as it always had. I drew it back quickly, clasping my hands in front of me.

" Are- Are you real?" I asked shakily.

Loki tilted his chin up.

" Shall we find out?" He asked.

It took me a moment before I realized he meant for me to come in. I took a step back and shook my head.

" Do you fear me?" Loki asked. His voice was flat, betraying nothing. I thought for a moment.

" I do not fear you." I said.

Loki laughed, for the first time, and stood. He stood directly in front of me. Looking down on my upturned face. He studied my face for a moment. I didn't bother to hide my feelings. He tilted his head slightly and raised one eyebrow.

" What do you fear Lola?" He asked suddenly.

" Myself." I answered.

He looked slightly surprised.

" And why do you fear yourself?" He asked.

" I am not who I believed myself to be." Was all I said.

" You mean your powers? Oh yes I was quite surprised myself. But that is no reason to fear yourself." He said with a slight bit of disgust.

" Would you like to know why I fear myself?" I asked.

" Oh do enlighten me." He said a bit sarcastically.

" Who do you believe loved you the most?" I asked.

He seemed a bit surprised but he covered it nicely.

" I really don't see what that has to do with it." He said.

I stared at him for a moment. He sighed.

" My mother." He said, averting his eyes.

"Yes. I believed my mother loved me the most as well. But she is gone now." I said softly.

"She left?" He asked.

" Yes. She died." I replied.

Loki nodded.

" My mother never spoke of my father but once. She told me of her love for him although many people considered him a monster. She said he died in a war shortly after their marriage, leaving her behind with child soon to come. That was all she said if him. Two days ago, as I knelt by her side to hear her as she lay dying, she told me the truth." I stopped here to look at Loki. He looked at me curiously.

I raised my hands and let them glow orange.

" Sometimes, we forget the truth when we fall so in love with a beautiful lie. That's what my life was. A beautiful lie. A fairytale woven together by deception and lies. I am the daughter of a monster. You see, my father wasn't just any sort of monster, " I paused, staring at my hands. " He was cursed. Cursed so terribly that people called him the Kursed." I stopped and looked at Loki's face. It had gone paler then normal. I continued.

" He left to fight for his realm and disappeared with the rest of the dark elves. My mother thought him dead. He came back , however. But not for her. He took many lives in his rampage. But none so great as the Queen's. A man bent on revenge, sought him out and killed him. Thus, the terrible legacy of the Kursed was over. Or so everyone thought. For while they fought the monsters that invaded them, they forgot that the most deadly  of them all lurks among us. I am the Kursed's daughter. I have the power of fire. Given to me by my father." I paused.

" For these reasons, I fear myself more then anything. For, while I always believed myself to be good, I never knew I had the greatest potential to be evil." I finished.

I waved my hand and the glowing stopped. I stared at Loki, waiting for his reaction. It was nothing I expected.