Loving Loki

Friends?

I was running so very fast. An unknown urgency possessed me. I had to get there. I just had to. Something was going to happen. I moved as though I was in water, slow and clumsily. Finally I was here, wherever here was. It was dark. So very dark. Then a small light switched on. I gasped in horror. A man was holding my mother, his face shadowed. The man snapped his fingers and my mother fell to the ground. I rushed to her. I placed my head on her chest. No heartbeat. She was dead. I tried to scream but no sound came out. The man grabbed my neck. I heard a snap, then all went dark.

I sat up and gasped. A cold sweat surrounded me, coating my skin in a thin layer. I felt my face and I realized I had been crying. I pulled my knees close to my chest, wrapping my trembling arms around them. It was just a dream. But it hadn't felt that way.

Eventually, after much tossing and turning, I was able to fall asleep once again. But it was a fitful and light sleep. I awoke the next morning feeling more tired then I had been the night before. I was glad today was my day off. Servants got a certain day off each week. Today was my day and I was looking forward to it. Some of my clothes needed mending and, of course, I had to ride Shelia.

I spent the morning mending and reading. It was going to be an altogether lazy day. I loved lazy days. After a quick lunch, I saddled up Shelia and rode off for a blissfully long ride. Finally, after several hours of relaxed riding, I directed Shelia towards the Tower. It wouldn't hurt to just drop in, but I had to get home soon so that I could begin supper. Mother had her long day today and I wanted to please her with a delicious supper.

I was in a wonderful mood, despite my rough morning and night. I lowered myself down the hole in the cave and bounded into the room. I stood in the sunlight. Loki looked up from the book he was reading. I bent down to see if it was the one I had left him, but he snapped it shut and tossed it carefully into his small pile by his chair. He stood up and glared at me.

I felt my mood darken slightly by his attitude and it made me angry.

" Don't stand there and analyze me as though I were a elf! If you have something to say, you had better go ahead and say it." I said hotly.

I regretted my tone at once and almost began to apologize but the second I opened my mouth, Loki raised his well groomed hand and silenced me.

" I shall look at you the way I wish to. If this bothers you then you may leave. Its not as though I am begging you to stay. I was only thinking, but if you wish to hear my thoughts, so be it. I was thinking that you had leaves You in your tangled frizzy hair, your dress has mud stains, and your sleeve is torn. Altogether I was think you looked very untidy and ugly. Now, maybe next time you will not ask to hear what I am thinking." He replied sharply.

For some odd reason, I felt tears at the back of my eyes and a lump in my throat. I didn't know why I cared. I knew I wasn't beautiful like some people, but I hated this fact being pointed out. Despite my happy personality, I had insecurities just like everyone else. And being called ugly to my face didn't help. At all.

I brushed the leaves out of my hair and braided it quickly. The rest, I couldn't fix until later. I pushed down the tears and looked at Loki.

" Maybe now I wont offend you. I apologize. I was out riding. Unlike you, I am free to do whatever I wish and don't waste my time on my looks when I ride." I didn't mean to add the last part, but it slipped out anyway. I quickly pressed two fingers to my lips.

Loki stared at me. His face revealing nothing. When he did answer, he changed the subject.

" I read the book you gave me. I hated it. I have never liked happy endings." He said, picking up the book and holding it out. I reached in and grasped it. His cool slender fingers brushed mine and I blushed.

" I will bring you a sad one next time then." I whispered quietly, clutching the book to my chest.

" Will there be a next time Lola? I haven't been the most ideal gentleman. But then again, I never really was." He said.

" Frigga didn't think so." I whispered. I couldn't help but think that she would have said something like that.

Loki's eyes narrowed.

" Do not speak of my mother. Ever!" He said in a dark dangerously low tone.

I recoiled at once, realizing I had touched on a soft spot. A kink in the armor. I nodded.

" I shall see you tomorrow then. I will bring you a book that might please you more." I said and began to climb the ladder.

Loki did not reply. I rode home and let the tears flow. I didn't know why it bothered me so much. But it did. He thought me ugly. Well, what did it matter. He wasn't somebody I had to impress. Just another person. But was he?

The next day after work, I visited him once again, holding a copy of the saddest book I owned. I hadn't recovered for weeks. I handed it to him and he received it stiffly.

" Loki? Who brings you your food?" I asked, after a long stretch of silence.

" A guard brings me my food and whatever else I wish. He is the only one who knows of my location. Other then you of course." He said. He was being a bit more polite today. His demeanor was still as cool and mocking as always, however.

I studied him for a moment as the silence hung in the room. It wasn't awkward. He studied me as I studied him. His eyes were pool in which it was easy to lose myself. I let myself drown in his eyes a moment before tearing myself away. I glanced up at the ceiling and saw the sunlight shining through it. Several drops of dew were left from last night. The sun hit them and reflected small rainbows on the walls.

I walked into a ray of sun and spread my arms out and tilted my head up. I spun slowly, soaking up every drop of sunshine. When I opened my eyes, Loki was staring at me curiously.

" What is it about light that fascinates you so?" He asked, one if his eyebrows raised slightly.

" I don't know. I have always loved it. Even as a child." I said.

And then suddenly, everything became easier to say. I told him about my childhood. About mother and Nana. About Ashanti and Lawrence. I don't know why I did, but I just did. He listened patiently, even told me some stories about himself.

I had to leave to get home, but I felt different somehow. As though we had fallen into something. Something good. It was that moment when I realized that Loki was more then a person, more then a prisoner. He was my friend. And I was glad.