My Paw Prints (tmnt fanfic)

The Big Night! (Part 1)

Cinni sat on her bed with her arms wrapped around her knees watching me. I sat down next to her, she looked over at me, "What Raph mean Nightmares?" She frowned saddened.

"You haven't been out of your room since we talked this morning, and you haven't come out to eat or anything which means that you are scared of somethin. What are you so scared of?" I asked.

"How did Raph know?"

"I asked you a question first." I retorted.

She sighed and bowed her head over her knees, "Cinni tell, but Raph no laugh!"

"I won't, I promise." I said patting her back.

"Cinni. . . Scared of . . . Halloween."

I looked at her confused, "Umm Cinni you do realize that Halloween is the holiday of scares and freaky things right? Halloween is suppose to be scary and it's all fake scary too it's all fun." My smirk went down as she glared up at me.

"It not funny to get hurt." a lone tear made it's way down her terrified face.

"Hurt? Who hurt you!" I said anger flowing in me, "I'll kill them." Cinni stayed glaring at the wall across from us as more tears made their way down.

"Cinni see three Halloween. Each Halloween Cinni hurt, bad. Not this one, Cinni stay home, Cinni stay safe."

"Cinni. What do you mean." 

She closed her eyes, "Humans think it 'fun' to hurt, bad smell Humans think it fun to hear pain, to hear scream. They laugh, they think it all fun, but it no fun to Cinni. They hurt Cinni bad," Her right hand started to rub her side, "Real bad."

I glared angrily, I knew what she was talking about, drunks. Drunks and their stupid ideas, I snatched Cinni's hand away and brushed her fur and shirt aside to find what I had hoped wasn't there. A long jagged scar along her waist, a hidden reminder to stay scared.

"Raph understand why." Cinni said as she gently pushed my hand back away, her fur bouncing back to cover the pain.

"Yeah I do." I sighed and shook my head, "But you know that you can't let this beat you."

"Cinni has no choice, Cinni too scared." She muttered holding herself again.

I sighed, "Listen Cinni I'm going to tell you another secret that you can never tell. I need you to swear it." She looked up at me and nodded.

"Cinni swear."

Sighing I began, "A while ago back when Leo was hurt by the Shreddar, I was angry so angry. I was furious at the Shreddar and the Foot I wanted to see them all gone. But one thing stopped all of that."

"What?" She asked curious.

"Fear." I shuttered as the horrid memories came back.

"Raph was scared?"

"No Cinni," I looked over at her, "I am still scared. I am terrified that one of these days I will lose my brothers and sisters. I am so scared Cinni, every single day I wake up scared that I will lose dearly. Like I almost lost Leo."

She frowned, "But Raph strongest?"

"Because I want to protect them."

"But Raph angry?" 

"So I can hide my fear."

"But Raph one that wants to go out?"

"So that each night I can say that I concurred my fears, You see Cinni. I live my life in a way so that I can beat my fears. I work out so that I can be strong, I am angry so that I can have fuel to move, and sometimes I do push you guys harder because I don't want you to get hurt when I'm not there."