Ordinary Acts of Bravery [A Divergent Fanfic]

Chapter 12 - Driven by jealousy

"Knowing when to walk away is wisdom.
Being able to do it, is courage.
Walking away, with your head held high is dignity."

          Four had prepared us, explaining we would soon begin to face more than one fear. The most common number of fears were anything between 8 and 20. It had left a cloud of dread over our heads when he said that. 20 fears were not something I was extremely keen on facing at all. No one really was.

The confinement had been a fear I had faced a few times now but when Four changed the serum, letting us face more of our fears, I would always start in the box. Luckily it no longer triggered me as much as it had once done. I could feel my heart race out of control whenever I opened my eyes and found myself back there, but I would always remember that it was just a simulation and therefore not real.

Ever since my first time in the box, I had never let my fear guide my actions nor cloud my mind. I had in a sense sharpened my mind, remained alert and forced the simulation to move on. It now only took me but a few minutes to complete the confinement fear. The small voice inside me, reminding me it wasn't real and only a simulation, helped quite a bit to keep me centered.

The next fear would often materialize in another form of confinement. I would find myself, bound on hands and feet, uncomfortably twisted behind my back as a black figure approached me. It did so with antagonizing slow movements always making me angry instead of fearful. It even left me enough time to still my frenzied heartbeat, but it didn't force the simulation to end. This one was different.

A frustrated cry escaped my lips when I tried to pull my hands free from the bindings for the fifth time, but they only seemed to tighten with every pull I made. When the figure finally reached me, it crouched while releasing a sickening laugher. I glared at its face that were without eyes and other such features before it suddenly grabbed onto the fabric of my shirt, yanking me right back up onto my feet before dragging me along.

"What do you want!" I screamed at the figure, following reluctantly as it dragged me towards an edge. Water was gushing against the side of the rock we were standing on, far, far below us. It was like standing at the chasm, having decided to jump from there. "Let me go." I cried and buckled against the shape. It twisted it's head in my direction, seeming as if it was studying me before it moved me closer to the edge again. It gives me but a second to prepare before I was pushed over the edge. I fall backwards, unable to do anything to prevent myself from falling because my hands are still bound.

Then I hit the cold water. I had completely forgotten to take in a deep breath. My lungs were already burning for air when I began to sink. This was a new fear, but never once had I allowed my fears to guide my actions. I buckle again and struggle against the restraints as I continue to sink, deeper and deeper into the darkness. Then another voice roared through my mind. It's my own.

It's not real, breathe you stupid moron!

It flips a switch inside me, calming me as I once again fill my lungs with air. The sensation calms me enough to close my eyes and still my frenzied heart, this time forcing the simulation to move on. But it doesn't move on today, it wakes me up instead.