If I Stayed | Christian Yu

CHAPTER TWENTY FOUR - WE KISSED

[Christian.] / Same night, after Aaliyah walks out.

He didn't know how long he sat there.

The apartment was dead silent, except for an occasional car passing outside. The soft click of the AC turning on made him flinch like it was a gunshot.

Christian stayed on the couch, elbows on his knees, fingers digging into his scalp. His phone buzzed once. Group chat. He didn't check. Couldn't. If he saw her name right now, he'd probably lose it.

He finally got up and went to the kitchen and opened the fridge, stared at it like he forgot why he walked there. Half a water bottle, leftover takeout, some energy drinks. Nothing made sense. He grabbed the bottle, took a sip, and leaned back against the counter.

His eyes burned. His chest felt too tight. Like he couldn't get a full breath in.

He grabbed his phone and opened it. No new messages. Just that old DM thread from Aaliyah still pinned at the top.

He tapped it. Watched the typing bar blink. Started to write something.

"Did that mean anything to you or-"

Deleted it. Threw the phone onto the counter harder than he meant to.

Christian stared at the blank wall in front of him. Then down at the floor. Then back at the door she left through.

She really did it. She came here, kissed him, and left like it was nothing. But it wasn't nothing. It hadn't felt like nothing.

He walked back to the living room and dropped onto the couch again. This time, he didn't try to think. Just sat there. Let the silence drag out until it turned into noise.

Then, at 3:11AM, he grabbed his phone again. Didn't even have to think about it this time.

He scrolled until he found Kazuo's name. Called him.

"Hello?" Kazuo sounded half-asleep, voice groggy.

"It's me."

"...Chris? Bro, what time is it?"

"Can you book me a session? Tomorrow. Or today. Whatever."

There was a pause. "Session like... therapy?"

"Yeah."

Kazuo sounded more awake now. "You good?"

Christian rubbed his jaw. "No."

Another pause. This one softer. "Alright. I'll call first thing. Go to sleep, man."

Christian hung up without saying anything else. Not out of rudeness. He just didn't know what else to say.

He turned his phone face-down and laid back on the couch. One arm over his eyes.

Sleep never came.

Dr. Yoon's office / morning, 7 days before the wedding

The waiting room looked the same as always. Pale walls. Fake plants. That peppermint-cleaner smell that usually calmed him down.

Not today.

Christian sat in the corner chair with his hood up, headphones in but no music playing. He hadn't slept. Hadn't eaten. He probably looked like hell, but he didn't care. It was better than pretending he was fine.

Dr. Yoon opened the door right on time.

She gave him that familiar, knowing smile. The kind that didn't push. "Come in, Chris."

He followed her inside and sank into the couch like he was running from something. Probably himself.

She settled into her chair, notebook in her lap, glasses halfway down her nose. "Rough night?"