If I Stayed | Christian Yu

CHAPTER FIVE

[Aaliyah.]

From across the table, Aaliyah held her wine glass near her lips — but she hadn't taken a sip in minutes.

Her dad was halfway through one of his infamous stories. Something about a barbecue, Kenji almost lighting himself on fire, and Malik swearing duct tape and prayer could fix anything.

The room was full of laughter.

She should've been laughing too.

But her eyes were on him.

Christian had come back from the bathroom a little too quiet. Still polite. Still there. But... off. Like something had shifted while he was gone. His smile didn't quite land. His fork barely moved. He wasn't joining in — just nodding, sipping water, doing that thing he did when he was trying to seem okay without actually being okay.

And she knew the difference.

She'd been around too long not to.

She noticed the uneven way his fingers tapped the glass. The tightness in his jaw every time Fabian laughed louder than necessary. The way he avoided her eyes completely — like he was afraid of what might spill out if he looked for too long.

"Everything good, babe?" Fabian's voice broke through her focus.

She blinked. Snapped out of it. Forced a smile.

"Yeah," she said quickly. "Just tired."

"We can head out if you want."

"No, it's fine. I'm good."

But she wasn't.

Not really.

She kept replaying his voice in her head — the way he said "Sure. Why not."
That wasn't him agreeing. That was him giving up.

And now he was just... sitting there. Across from her. In this house they grew up in. Looking like someone she used to know and somehow still the only person who ever really saw her.

"Liyah," her mom called out, all brightness. "Can you grab that extra bottle of wine from the kitchen?"

"Oh—yeah. Sure."

She stood, quietly, and walked around the table.

Passed behind Christian's chair.

He didn't look up.

But she felt it.
That tension. That awareness.
Like a wire pulled tight between them.

She didn't have to see his eyes to know he felt it too.

~

The kitchen felt like a different world.

Aaliyah leaned against the counter, hand brushing the neck of the wine bottle — but she didn't grab it right away.

She just... stood there.

Breathing slowly. Trying to calm her thoughts.

She was engaged.

She was happy.

Right?

Fabian checked every box. He was gentle. Loyal. The kind of man her parents adored. He loved her with quiet consistency — no highs, no lows, just peace. Stability. Plans. Calendars. Safety.

No mess.

But Christian...

Christian had always been mess.

And comfort.

And chaos that somehow felt like home.

The second he walked in tonight, something shifted in her. Something clicked back into place. Like her heart remembered something her mind had been trying to forget.