If I Stayed | Christian Yu

CAPTER TWENTY - THE TRUTH

He opened it slowly. The sound too loud in the quiet.

Shook out the small tablet. Dry swallowed it.

She didn't move. But she reached out—

Gently.

Wrapped her hand around his.

Her thumb brushed his knuckles, just like she used to when they were kids and he'd panic over thunderstorms.

"Don't take long, okay?"

Her voice was soft.

But it landed in his chest like a warm weight.

He nodded, still staring at their hands.

"I won't."

She squeezed his hand once.

Then let go.

Turned and slipped back inside.

The garden felt quiet again.

~

The door clicked shut behind him.

Warmth met him instantly—voices, silverware scraping plates, Rafael laughing at one of Mr. Xiu's jokes, Kaylani retelling a high school story that had Malik groaning.

It felt lighter now.

So did he.

Christian stepped back into the dining room, calmer. Hoodie sleeves pulled down, hands in his pockets.

Aaliyah looked up as he walked by.

Their eyes met.

She didn't say a word.

But the small nod said everything.

He paused at the empty chair—then kept going, standing near the head of the table.

"Can I... say something real quick?"

The room fell quiet.

Kazuo raised an eyebrow. Kenji blinked. Ms. Yu tilted her head.

"I just—" he started, then exhaled. "I've been sitting with this for a while. Some of you know. Some of you probably guessed. But not all of you. Especially the parents."

His eyes moved from face to face—Mrs. Morales, Mr. Brown, Mr. Xiu. People who'd watched him grow up. People who never saw what he battled behind the lyrics and the laughter.

"Since I was a kid, I felt things more than most. Everything was bigger. More intense. More sudden. More... everything."

He smiled, but it didn't quite reach his eyes.

"One day I'd be on top of the world, the next I'd be drowning. For years I thought that was just... me. But there's a name for it."

He looked at his mom. She gave him the smallest nod—solid, steady.

"I have bipolar disorder."

A pause.

No gasps.

No pity.

Just silence. Open. Listening.

"I was diagnosed a few years ago. Therapy. Meds. I'm trying to understand myself instead of just... survive."

He rubbed the back of his neck, hands finally leaving his pockets.

"I'm not saying this for pity. I'm saying it because it's part of me. And I'm tired of hiding it."

His voice got softer.

"So if I've ever been too much... if I've pulled back, or been distant, or missed out on moments that mattered..."

His gaze flicked to Aaliyah, just for a second.

"...This is why. And I'm sorry."

The silence held for another second.

Then Kaylani stood, wine glass raised.

"To Christian," she said. "For being brave as hell."

Everyone lifted their glasses.

Even the parents.

Christian let out a breath.

And for the first time in a long time...

The voice in his head didn't argue back.

The last sip of wine had barely settled before Mrs. Morales stood—no hesitation, no question. Just instinct.

She walked straight to Christian, arms already open.

He didn't expect it.

So when she wrapped him in a hug—the kind that only moms give—he let her.

Closed his eyes.

She held him like she had when he was fifteen and got in that fight after school. When he got accepted into his first music program. When he told her he was leaving for the tour.

But this time was different.

This time, she held all of him.

"You're not too much," she whispered. "You're ours."

That was all she said.

But it was everything.

When she pulled back, she smoothed a hand over his arm, eyes glassy but strong. Then she turned and went back to her seat—like it wasn't even up for discussion.

Kazuo stepped forward next.

He didn't hug.

Didn't say a word.

Just placed a steady hand on Christian's back, a pat that landed with the weight of I see you. I've always seen you.

Christian didn't look at him.

Didn't need to.

He just nodded.

And Kazuo nodded back.

Simple.

Solid.

Home.