To Learn To Love [COMPLETE]

Part Twenty-Three

'Alli,' I began as I gestured her to sit down, she smiled at me and sat next to Jin, 'it's nice to see you again, I'm sorry about before.'

She bowed her head and ignored my gaze, 'It's fine.'

'Um, how are you?' I asked awkwardly, feeling my face going red.

'I'm fine, thank you.' She quickly glanced at me, I could feel that she was uncomfortable.

'I see the last two have arrived, ready to order now?' The same waiter said with his note pad at the ready.

The table erupted with orders, I frowned and lowered my eyes to the table.

Failure, she doesn't love you. She just doesn't love you.

'Taehyung,' Jin's voice cut through the silence, 'what do you want? We've all ordered.' Jin gestured to the waiter who stood with a smile, waiting for my answer. Time was going by too fast for me to cope with.

I ordered the first thing on the menu and leaned back into the booth.

I just wanted to be alone with her so we could talk, although we both knew how each other felt. I just wanted to talk about what we could be again, I wanted to know every little detail of our relationship, I just wanted to be with her.

The night went on, her and Jin seemed closer, it's like he completely forgot about helping me with her, stopped trying to help our relationship and completely dismissing the fact that he offered to get her to love me again. It's like he was doing it on purpose as a stab at me. We had finished our dinner and moved onto dessert, but before it came I had to step out.

I opened the front door of the restaurant and walked around to the alley, I rested my back against the wall and took in the cold night air.

What are you doing Taehyung? You're messed up, insane, crazy...you just can't get anything right anymore.

The constant argument in my mind shattered at the sudden sound of her comforting voice.

'Taehyung?'

I sighed and pulled my back off from the wall.

'Alli.' I stated and stepped forward.

'Are you okay?' She asked as her voice shook, I knew she didn't want to be around me, Jin probably forced her to come outside to see how I was or why I left.

I shook my head, 'No, I'm not,' I began before taking a deep breath, 'Alli. What are we?'

'What do you mean?'

'Please, don't act like that. You know what I mean,' I huffed, 'what are we? Our relationship? What am I to you?'

Her eyes began to water, they ignored mine and shot to the ground. I watched as her body shook slightly, but not because of the cold of the night.

'I don't know...' She answered and pulled her head back up to lock eyes with me, 'after everything that has happened I didn't even know there was anything between us, I don't feel anything anymore and I feel like you don't feel it either.'

I gulped hard and exhaled, beginning to fume with anger and sadness.

'But...the mid-winter carnival? You felt something, I know you did.'

'I just don't know okay! I just want to forget you!' She said with her voice raised.

'Why did you want to see me then!' I yelled, I had never raised my voice at her before.

'Because I thought we could be different!' Her voice cracked and tears flowed, 'I thought we would feel what we felt before, but I cant, I just can't feel it.' Her sobs broke through and her tears streamed down her face.

My first instinct was to hold her but I stopped myself.

As she wiped her tears she spoke again, 'I thought that after we saw each other, after we spoke, the same feelings would return. But all I feel from you is confusion, anger, and sadness.' She paused and stepped back.

'I love you, Taehyung,' she whispered, I stepped closer with my hand outstretched, 'but I'm not in love with you. Not anymore.'

I couldn't help myself, I didn't want it to end so I did what I did before.

Without warning, without thinking, without being able to stop I wrapped my hands around her waist and kissed her with all I was and all I could ever wish to be.

To my surprise she didn't stop me, she kissed back and held my body against hers. I pulled her body from the pathway and back into the alley, lightly pushing her back against the wall.

As our lips collided I held her back and felt her hip, slowly moving down her thigh, lifting it and resting it against my hip.

'What...are we doing...Taehyung...' She managed to say through our colliding lips.

I pulled back, 'We need to leave, go inside and tell Jin you need the keys to his truck to get your wallet out, or tell him you want me to take you home, tell him anything to get his keys so we can leave.'

'Okay.' She said quickly, pulling down her dress and re-entering the restaurant.

She was back in a flash and we were gone.