Loving Loki

Visiting

I decided not to take the fast way down the hole this time. I carefully lowered myself down until my boots hit the first rung of the ladder. In a few moments, I was standing in the circular room, basking in the rays of sun that shone through the glass ceiling. Without meaning to, I stepped out of the shadows and moved closer to the light. I tilted my head up and let the sun gently caress my face. A low chuckle brought me out of my reverie.

Loki was watching me, a mocking smile on his face. His hands were clasped behind his back and his head was tilted slightly back, like he was looking down upon me. Which he was of course. He wore black trousers and a dark green shirt. His hair was neat and tidy as always. He looked impeccable. Everything, from his cell to his face, was clean and new. Nothing was out of place.

A mental image arose in my mind of Thor and Loki sharing a room. Loki was always neat, while Thor threw things every which way. I almost laughed out loud, but I stopped myself. I realized I had been staring at Loki longer then was needed. I tore my eyes away and looked about me.

" So you came back." Loki said with a sneer.

The way he said it made me feel self conscious, as though I had broken some unspoken law by daring to visit him. I struggled for a moment to say the right thing. I stared intently at the black laces of my muddy boots. Finally I spoke.

" Yes. I suppose I did." I said, not daring to look up.

" And why did you come back? I wasn't exactly encouraging in my response when you asked if you could come back." He said with a mocking chuckle.

Again, I struggled to find the words to say. I looked up and met his defiant eyes. They were mocking, daring me to answer.

" I- I thought maybe you were lonely." I said quietly.

I said the words before I could stop myself and I knew instantly that I had said the wrong thing. His eyes hardened even more then before and narrowed. He looked at me with disgust.

" And what would possess you to think such a foolish thing? Am I not a god? Am I not strong? I need not your pity nor your care. I thought you would not return, as it was my hope. But now here you are, daring to think that I require your company. If I required some sort of company, I would not have chosen a child like yourself. But as it is, I do not wish nor want company, so you are simply wasting your time." He said harshly.

I took a step back. I had lowered my eyes during his outburst. He was right. If he wanted company, he could have had anyone he wished and he would not have chosen me for sure.

" You are right. Forgive me for assuming. I was only thinking that if it was I trapped in that cell with no one to speak to, I would long for company. I should not have entertained the thought for a moment." I said dipping my head.

His laugh echoes off the walls. It sent shivers up my spine. It was quite intimidating.

" You give in far to easily. Weak!" He said, still laughing at me.

" I did not give in. I simply recognized I was wrong and admitted it. I fight my battles when I have to, although I prefer not fight at all." I responded, a bit ruffled at his saying I was weak.

" Making excuses. Another weakness. And what made you think I was like you at all? You would of course long for company. But you forget I am nothing like you." He said. His voice declared his utter contempt for me. I was surprised that it hurt me as much as it did. I had always wanted people to like me.

" How am I much different? I breath, feel, and love just as you do. I have a heart that beats and two hands with which to share it. I have two feet to take me places and two eyes with which to see the places. I have one mouth to speak with and two ears to listen with. I have a soul and a mind. Seeing as you have all those things as well, how can you say we are different?"

Loki looked slightly surprised at the way I had responded. Doubtless, he expected me to scamper away in fright or agree with him. His answer was quick despite his surprise.

" But you are the picture of innocence. Your mind has not been corrupted yet by the darkness inside. You were not raised to be a king only to find out you were never even considered a possibility. You were not lied to your whole life. You are not a monster! You have not taken lives! The heart that beats in me is black. My hands are stained with the blood of many. My feet have taken me to the darkest of realms and my eyes have seen horrors that you could not imagine. My  mouth is filled with lies and my ears have been burned with the lies of others. A soul I have not. Love," He spat. " is a hopeless trap. A trick to lead you to your downfall. I lost any love I ever had long ago. Now do you say we are similar? Now do you still think we are alike?" He asked. His words sounded hopeless but his voice was full of venom and pride. Still, I sensed a deep regret for everything he had done.

" Yes. Because despite the differences between us, you still have admitted that you have a heart, hands, a mind, ears, and a mouth. And when you look at it like that, we are not much different at all."

He stared at me a moment. His eyes looked steely and icy. He clearly did not believe me.

" I shall not waste my time arguing with a child and a fool." He spat. Then he turned away from me. I dropped my shoulders and sighed.

I walked up to his cell and placed the book just inside the golden walls that kept him from his freedom. Then I left, climbing the ladder as silently as I could. I walked back to the place where I had tied Shelia up.

" Maybe he isn't as hopeless as we thought." I whispered with a small smile as I stroked her nose.

The whole ride home, I replayed his words over and over in my mind, searching for clues. I found none however. After grooming Shelia, I went in the house to greet mother and help with the dinner preparations. I assured her that it was only a small amount of time before I would have enough money to support her and she could quit. She smiled tiredly and told me how proud she was of me.

I went to bed early. The window was open and the moonlight streamed in accompanied by a slight cool breeze. I fell asleep quickly.