Pretty Girls

Twenty Three

"I know honey, I know I know I know, but it's going to get better alright. We just have to..."
Then I saw my mom do something she hadn't done in years- she was crying. So was my dad, we all were.

Here we were, connecting, one year of losing one of our own and losing our connection, now mourning as a family. And even though it was a sad moment for us, I couldn't have though of a better way, than to share it as a family.

***

"You've been crying," was the first thing I said to Jax as soon as he answered the call.

Jax smiled weakly. "Yes Savannah, I have. So have you though."

"Yeah. You know what I always blamed myself for?"

"What?"

"Not forcing her to go shopping with me and my mom. I was having the time of my life, thinking she was happy because she was with you. But she wasn't. I was the last person to ever see her alive. 'I'm definitely crushing you in COD tonight'. That was the last thing she said when I saw her. Then... "
I didn't want to cry anymore.

Jax sighed. "I was."

"What?" I sniffled.

Jax frowned before continuing. "I was the last person to see her."

I froze. My breathing shortened. I couldn't look at the screen.

"Savannah, I'm sorry-"

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"I just thought that maybe if-"

"No! You weren't thinking. You couldn't possibly think that you couldn't tell me that you were the last person to see my sister alive!"

"I didn't think it would be important!"

"OF COURSE IT'S IMPORTANT JAX!" I had to pause and fix my breathing before I started hyperventilating.

"Jax," I said more softly, "She was my sister. It would have been nice to know."

He took a deep breath.
"It's been hard on me too. I'm not using it as an excuse just..." he trailed off but I didn't dare say anything.

After a couple moments of silence he started again.

"I came in through her window, like always. We spent most of the time just thinking out loud, talking about what we would do in the future. She told me she was going to be the best actress this world had ever had. I knew she was good, but I didn't know how good she was until that day...

"She took me on a 'tour' of you house. Showed me everything, except for your room. You hadn't had any pictures up so I didn't know how you looked like. We actually got a chance to go skinny dipping in your pool, something she always wanted to do."

Woah wait. What?
Please tell me he's not just going to brush that off...

"Then we got dried off and just watched tv. Like a normal couple would. Around 7:30 I had to go, she kissed me. Not a short one, a real one, she told me how she really felt. It was the first time she ever did that, and I thought it was just because Valentines day had just passed, but... I should've noticed something was wrong. It was too good to be true.
The last thing I said to her was, 'If we ever had a future, could we make it together?'. She said yes, Savannah she said yes.

"And then I find out she's gone. I hated myself for it, I hated everyone. Part of me hated my mom, for getting into that accident when she did, so I couldn't come to the funeral. I know it wasn't her fault, I just wanted to be mad at something so I would entirely have to be mad at me.
Then I just... stopped."