Pretty Girls

Five

"That was possibly the worst song I've ever heard Savvy," Penelope critiqued me after I finished my Valentine's day heartbreak song.

"Ugh Penelope, I know you're in love or whatever, but sometimes things don't always go as planned. Love kills, ya know."

"Yeah yeah, but love is essential to human life. We wouldn't be here if not for love, so at least write a fictional love story and put it in the song."

"Orrrrr, I could use yours..."
I asked, hoping she'd say yes but like always, it's been a firm

"NO! Why are you and L. K always getting on my case about him? He's just a lover, no one you need to know about, besides, I'm already in trouble now with the people at my school for even talking to him."

"Okay fine, I won't . But at least tell me who L.k is, I mean like at least the first name, pleeease?"

I bargained with her, and she never turned down any of my decent bargains.

She smiled and answered, "I'm only saying her name once, never again."

"Okay, yeah yeah what is it??"

"Leah."

****

Four walls. That's all you get. No comfy couch to lie on, no swivel chair, those are just what they do in the movies and TV shows. Just four walls. But no, let's make it worse. Two steel chairs, placed directly I'm front of each other.  The walls were white and blank. The chairs weren't even chipped, so you couldn't pick at anything. I've been doing this year for a year now. The same old conversation with the same old person about the same old thing.

"How was your week?"

"Normal."

"Nothing interesting?"

"Not really." I replied, withholding my new information about the majors and minors.
After Jessica told me about what happened with Rhea, the day became a blur. I'd remember bits and pieces, like me asking Armoni about their next step, asking her how will she get over this crime, remembering her shrug as she told me she 'didn't care'.

"Miss Blanchard?"

"Yes?"

"You didn't answer my question."

"Yes I did, I said not really."

"My other question."

Had she asked me another? Honestly I might've zoned out.

"Oh, umm can you say it again? I didn't understand it the first time."

"That's because there wasn't a first time. I never asked another question but if you paid attention you would already know this. Savannah, you haven't said a word about that night, and we've been meeting for a while. You are here to open up, to tell me what is going on, so I can help you, so you won't feel isolated."

I understood that she was trying to help, but she couldn't. It was too late. I was already isolated, I couldn't tell her, or anybody anything anymore. Couldn't trust anyone, because anyone could be against me.
And if the majors are against me, then I'm against them, which means I'm pretty much screwed.

"We have this conversation all the time, two hours a day, two days a week, and all this time I spend wasting my life. I don't need this, I all I need is myself."

"That's not the way I want you to think Miss Blanchard."

"And how should I think?"

"Anyway but that,"she responded, "That only means you are not cooperating, and that I have to pencil you down as 'isolated'. Which means that you'd either have to see me everyday a week, or they would have to put you in solitary confinement. I'm not threatening you, I want you to be okay.