I can't remember the last time I wrote one of these, where I just rambled and stuff. this is gonna be so jumpy and probably my messiest post yet (typing this on my iPhone).
so anyway, my cousin AJ and his fiancée, Naomi finally got married this past weekend (if you've read blue diaries you'll know who they are). Xavier came to the wedding with me because Naomi invited him. To be honest, I'm always able to bring a friend and I actually didn't want to bring Xavier because I was just nervous. my whole family was going to be there and every time a wedding comes around I'm a l w a y s shot with questions about my personal life from everyone else (mainly my aunts). I was actually gonna tell Xavier not to come, that's how anxious I was but then I just let him because Jamaen was unavailable.
On the wedding day, before the ceremony I introduced him to some family and somehow he clicked with my male cousins right away. He got along so well with my cousin and his friend that had come down from Cali for the wedding; a little too well tbh.
Before the reception I said to Xavier, don't get drunk.
He got drunk.
My cousin from Cali along with the rest and my dad (..wyd dad) were literally drowning him with liquor. I mean the free bar doesn't help but if I can drink and not get drunk then he can too. I had fun though. Xavier went AWF when the DJ played We Found Love lol. Nah but real talk, seeing him get along with everyone in my family made me like him more. like I don't wanna say the L word but when I think about him I get a warm feeling inside (as corny as that has always sounded it's true. it's actually warm fr).
So, I've received messages about when I'm gonna update never let go. I had kinda left that for dead. I'm not even gonna lie, at the beginning it was because I just didn't have the time and then afterwards I just couldn't be bothered. I'm gonna be 22 in September and that book is at the point where I'm like 16 or something. I do have chapters, they just need heavy editing. Hopefully I can get something up this week or maybe next. so to those who messaged me about that, something should be up soon.
I have so much written for blue diaries. It's all unedited and in my drafts. I have like 13 posts just there waiting to be edited. So much has happened this year I just haven't found the time. I'm gonna post things up starting next week (hopefully, I've just been working so much recently).
I was gonna ramble on about this shoplifter that was in a wheelchair (smh. stupid b-tch) and about this guy I met a couple months back at X's house. He was a Beyoncé hater and a rapist. coincidence? I think not. you know what? lemme tell the story; I don't won't him to have a big part in blue diaries anyway because he's trash.
So there was this guy I met at Xavier's place. He was a friend of a friend apparently and had only met X once. I could feel his trash vibes the moment he walked in. I was playing Gran Turismo against Jamie (the boyfriend of Xavier's cousin, Stephanie) and when he lost again this guy was like "how you gonna lose against a chick?" "aye she's kinda good for a girl though". I was annoyed. Then Travis (a friend of Xavier's) introduced us. His name was Alex. He then asked where Stephanie is, directing the question at me as if I'm meant to know. Then he asked if I "chill at her cousins house all the time, with her boyfriend". I was pissed just from what he was trying to imply. Then later when we were all at this drink up (which I didn't even wanna go to) he basically confirmed why he's trash. I was sober like I had 0 alcohol. I was sipping on that good h2o. So I'm sitting there drinking my mineral water and I see his trash ass taking a girl, who was completely out her mind drunk, like she couldn't even fckn walk, upstairs. I was like I knew he was trash cos he's a fckn rapist. I stood up and asked him where he was going. He told me to "mind my own unless I wanted to join in". My cup slipped, whoops, the contents hit his chest. Joel saw him get mad and held him back.
"So you rape drunk girls and you hit girls too?" I was too hype off anger. I was pissed I was at that damn drink up. I was pissed I had met him and him implying I was being passed around by all the guys and I was pissed he thought I can't play video games because I'm a girl. AND he had the fckn nerve to say Beyoncé is overrated and that Jhene Aiko sings better (as well as other things). Bitch where?! I thought these people only existed on social media? I knew it though. Beyoncé hater and a rapist? ain't no coincidence bih. No, jokes aside though, he is so disgusting and I hope I never see him again.
Enough of him. I was thinking the other day how writing has helped me cope with a lot of things, especially during uni. I have one more year left and I'm done and I think I'm gonna be done writing on here too. so hopefully I finish everything by next summer (including my short story which may not be so short). I haven't posted blue diaries in so long but I never stopped writing. From this new academic year it's gonna be so weird not mentioning Xavier. I'm not gonna lie I'm gonna miss him. Kinda upsets me to know he's gonna be gone for a whole year. I haven't told him that but that's how I've been feeling. He's the first person that's actually made me feel some sorta way and I actually like having these feelings; it's sort of cool n'stuff. I hope we don't drift apart because he's actually important to me. I sometimes feel the L word on the tip of my tongue, even though I don't mean it in THAT context. I still get nervous showing just how much I care about him through words. Even now I feel like rambling and writing all these nice things but I get so embarrassed I can't bring myself to do it.
Well then, that's pretty much it. I don't know how to end this but Inside Out is good, I saw it yesterday with X. Oh and that Back to Back freestyle was kinda impressive you know. I don't even like Drake like that but it was def a 1UP from the trash he put out the other day. Okay that's all, take care (drake reference not intended) (I wish I had a cool quote to put here but I can't think of anything to match my mood)(where's Frank Ocean?)(where's the album?).
