Heated (A Harry Styles Fanfiction)

Final Chapter 60

(Please read the author's note at the end :) And you may start the song now as well)

"You were the excuse to keep living again."

-Tyler Knott Gregson

Heated - Chapter 60

It has been said before; that whoever enters your life is either there for a lesson or a blessing.

I can't say that he's either one, in fact; he was both.

A lesson to show me that it's okay to stop running, sometimes it's good to take that risk and just fall into love.

A blessing because he turned out to be more than I could have ever imagined; a manifestation of my dreams. My beginning... And sadly, my ending as well.

Why did it have to end this way?

Was everything we did in vain? Was everything we fought for, everything we've built, for nothing? Now that he's gone, does it even count?

Does it even matter?

My head is a mess, I wish it wasn't this way. I wish he was here instead, I'd give anything to see his face again; to feel his touch on my skin once more. Just so that I can feel alive, because even though I'm breathing, it feels as though I'm slowly dying.

All those times I spent wishing that he would stay in my life for always, maybe I wished too hard...

Maybe I wished our love apart.

I feel numb, standing in the shower as the water drops onto my skin and drips down my body. You'd think the droplets would wash the pain away, but it's only good enough to hide the tears which falls from my eyes.

It's hard to escape the thoughts of Harry when all I've ever breathed was him. I don't want to sound like a girl who needs a guy to feel complete; I never wanted to be that girl. But it's not even like that, it's different. It's like your soul has been yearning for that special connection that can only be felt once and by someone who touches your heart, not with their hands, but with the way their soul connects with yours.

He was it.

His eyes were my home, but now I'm lost at sea and I can't even see the shore.

Whatever it was that the doctors pricked into my skin was really what I needed. Even though, at the time, I hated them for it.

I needed sleep to help me escape for a while - for two days to be exact.

He was always there in my dreams and it almost felt as though it was real. When he held onto my hand, it felt as though it was real life. I was filled with memories of us; the good and the bad. But I chose to remember the good, the times we laughed... We were so happy.

Suddenly, I feel an ache in my heart; why does the good times bring tears to my eyes? Isn't it supposed to do the opposite?

I spent enough time in this shower. I need to get out. I need to escape. Go somewhere.

My Mom said that she'll be waiting outside along with everyone else.

I was happy to have friends and family who actually cared about me. It felt good. But even though I was happy to have them around, it just didn't feel the same. Because the only person I really wanted to truly see was ...

I can't even bring myself to say his name.

I got dressed in my white summer dress and did my hair. A few minutes later, I prepared myself to see everyone.