No strings attached |(UNDER REVISION)

Chapter 40- Trapped love

Five years na, Aiah. Pero bakit ganito pa rin?

I used to believe that time would make it easier. That one day, I'd wake up and the weight of losing Mikha would no longer suffocate me. Pero mali ako.

Gabi-gabi, I drowned myself in work, in responsibilities, in anything that would keep my mind occupied. Pero kahit anong gawin ko, bumabalik pa rin siya. In my dreams. In the silence of the night. In the spaces between my ribs, where she used to belong.

I took another shot. Then another.

Pero ni isa, wala akong mapagsabihan.

Gwen. Sheena. Jho. Stacey. Lahat sila lumayo na sa akin. They hated me for what I did to Mikha.

And honestly? I didn't blame them.

I deserved it.

I deserved the loneliness. The regret. The aching emptiness that never seemed to go away.

I was still trapped.

Nakakulong pa rin ako sa sakit.

And maybe... maybe this was my punishment.

I stared at the half-empty bottle of wine on the table, my vision blurring slightly from the alcohol. I wasn't drunk-not enough to forget, never enough to forget-but just enough to feel the sharp edges of my emotions dull for a moment.

I let out a bitter laugh, shaking my head.

"Gusto ko lang protektahan 'yung taong mahal ko... kahit madurog ako nang paulit-ulit, basta makita ko lang siyang kumpleto."

That was the only thing I held on to all these years.

Lahat ng ginawa ko, ginawa ko para kay Mikha.

Kahit na iniwan ko siya.
Kahit na sinaktan ko siya.
Kahit na ako mismo ang bumura sa sarili ko sa buhay niya.

Because I knew... if I had stayed, they would have destroyed her.

My family, my parents-wala silang awa. They controlled my life, and they would have done the same to Mikha. They would've ripped her apart, just to remind me that I could never have the freedom to love her.

So I left.

I married Adrian. I followed their orders. I let them shape me into the perfect daughter, the perfect wife.

Pero sa bawat umaga na nagigising ako sa buhay na 'to, isang bagay lang ang totoo-hindi ako buo.

Kasi naiwan ko kay Mikha ang puso ko.

And now... now she's moved on.

I saw it in her eyes kanina. How she looked at me-full of resentment, of anger, of something deeper na hindi ko na mabasa.

She has someone else now. She has Ethan. She's happy.

I should be relieved. Dapat masaya ako kasi nakuha ko 'yung gusto ko-she's whole, she's living her life without the weight of my love dragging her down.

Pero bakit ang sakit?

Bakit pakiramdam ko, ako ang nawasak?

I was about to take another sip of wine when a sharp voice cut through the silence.

"Aiah."

Napahinto ako.

I turned my head slowly, finding Adrian standing by the doorway, arms crossed, jaw clenched. His usual calm demeanor was gone-replaced by something colder, something sharper.

"Anong ginagawa mo?" he demanded, stepping forward. His eyes flickered to the bottle of wine on the table. "Drinking alone again? At this hour?"

I set my glass down with a soft clink against the table. "I just needed to clear my head," I answered, keeping my voice even.