No strings attached |(UNDER REVISION)

Chapter 34- A hug of rest

The world blurred around me as I sat in the dimly lit bar, a glass of whiskey clutched between my trembling fingers. The music was loud, the people around me laughing, drinking, living-but I felt nothing.

Sheena, Gwen, Stacey, and Jho sat with me, their worried gazes flickering my way every few minutes.

"Mikha, tama na," Sheena said softly, trying to take the glass from my hand. "Baka hindi na 'to nakakatulong."

I pulled away, letting out a bitter chuckle. "Ano pa bang makakatulong, Sheen?" My voice cracked as I took another sip, the burn of alcohol doing nothing to numb the ache inside me.

"Walang sagot si Aiah, 'di ba?" I whispered, my throat tightening. "Kahit isang message lang... isang salita lang... wala."

Gwen sighed, rubbing my back gently. "We're here, Mikha."

"But she's not." I laughed, shaking my head. "Aiah is my world... pero ako ba, naging mundo niya?"

Tahimik silang lahat.

I swallowed hard, my grip on the glass tightening. "Kasi kung oo... bakit niya ako iniwan?"

My vision blurred again as I looked up at the ceiling, my heart shattering all over again.

"She was my home," I whispered. "Pero iniwan niya akong palaboy sa mundo na wala siya."

Stacey and Jho reached for my hands, squeezing them gently. Pero kahit anong yakap o salita nila, walang makakapuno sa kawalan na iniwan ni Aiah.

She wasn't just someone I loved.

She was everything.

And now, I had nothing.

I let out another laugh-shaky, hollow, the kind that barely sounded human. My fingers tightened around the glass as I stared at the swirling amber liquid, my vision blurring.

"Alam niyo ba kung anong mas masakit?" My voice was light, almost playful, but the pain underneath it was suffocating. No one answered. They just watched me, waiting.

"My parents are dead." I smiled, though it felt foreign on my lips. "Tapos na 'yung chapter na 'yon. Wala na sila."

Tahimik silang lahat. No one dared to speak.

"I spent years convincing myself that it was okay, that I didn't need them, that I was fine on my own." I took another sip of whiskey, feeling it burn down my throat. "Pero si Aiah? Siya 'yung nagpaniwala sa'kin na hindi ko kailangang mag-isa. That I could have someone to come home to. That I could be someone's first choice."

I laughed again, the sound cracking at the edges. "Pero wala na siya. Just like them."

Sheena reached for my hand, but I pulled away, gripping the glass tighter.

"Alam niyo kung ano 'yung pinaka-nakakatawa?" My voice was barely above a whisper now. "Akala ko natuto na ako. Akala ko hindi na ako magpapauto sa paniniwalang may taong mananatili."

I pressed my free hand against my chest, right where it hurt the most. "Pero hindi ko matanggap. Hindi ko matanggap na wala na naman akong uuwian. Na wala na siya."

Stacey's eyes welled up with tears. "Mikha-"

"Buti pa kayo," I cut her off, shaking my head. "You still have something to hold onto. You still have people who stay." I looked at them-at Sheena, at Gwen, at Jho, at Stacey. "Ako? Hindi ko alam kung paano ulit mabuhay sa mundong wala siya."

Gwen wiped at her eyes, voice trembling. "Mikha, we're still here."

I smiled at her, but it didn't reach my eyes. "Pero hindi kayo siya."