No strings attached |(UNDER REVISION)

Chapter 29- Break us apart

Fast asleep, looking so peaceful, so innocent-as if nothing had happened.

I crouched beside the bed, just watching her. My fingers itched to trace the curve of her face, to tuck away the loose strands of hair covering her eyes.

Pero hindi ko kaya.

Instead, a quiet sob escaped my lips.

I covered my mouth quickly, afraid to wake her.

I hated this. Hated how she could hurt me this much, and yet, all I wanted was to stay beside her.

I didn't want her to see me like this.

I didn't want her to see how broken I felt.

Because if she did... she might finally realize just how much power she had over me.

And I wasn't sure I could survive that.

A quiet chuckle escaped my lips as I wiped away the tears threatening to fall.

"Ang daya mo..." I whispered, shaking my head as I looked at Aiah's sleeping form.

She was here, in my bed, as if nothing had happened. As if she hadn't left me waiting. As if she hadn't crushed me tonight.

Yet here I was, still by her side.

I sighed, sitting on the edge of the bed. My fingers hovered over hers, hesitant. I wanted to hold her. To wake her up. To ask her all the questions running through my mind.

Where were you, Aiah?
Who were you with?
Did you even think about me tonight?

But I didn't have the strength to hear the answers.

So instead, I laid down beside her, careful not to wake her.

I stared at the ceiling, blinking away the sting in my eyes.

"Happy monthsary, love." I whispered, even though she couldn't hear me.

And for the first time since Aiah walked through that door, I allowed myself to break-even if just for tonight.

As soon as I stepped out of the bedroom, my legs felt weak. I barely made it to the couch before my body gave in, and the tears I had been holding back came crashing down.

I sobbed-quietly, painfully.

I covered my mouth with my hand, afraid that even in sleep, Aiah might hear me. Afraid that if she did, she would wake up, hold me, and say things that would make me forgive her too easily.

I didn't want that.

I wanted to be angry. I deserved to be angry.

But more than that, I didn't want to hurt her.

I wiped my tears harshly, my chest rising and falling unevenly. "Ang daya mo, Aiah," I whispered again, my voice breaking. "Ang daya-daya mo."

You forgot our monthsary. You left me waiting. You ignored my calls. You showed up at the last minute looking tired and guilty.

And worst of all...

Someone sent me a picture of you kissing another man.

I squeezed my eyes shut, trying to erase the image from my mind, but it was burned into my memory. The way her hand rested on Aiah's cheek, the way Aiah didn't pull away...

I wanted to scream. I wanted to throw something, to break things, to ask why?

But instead, I curled up on the couch, hugging my knees to my chest.

I cried silently-because I didn't want Aiah to hear me.

Because despite everything, I still didn't want to lose her.