Deadly

Chapter 12

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"Miss, are you alright?", it's another one of those pesky nurses. Why can't they just leave me alone to mourn? I just want to wither away in my cocoon of blankets.

"Where's Atreyu?"

"He's dead sweetie."

"He can't be..."

"Unfortuantely he is..."

"No..."

"It's all over the news. He was found dead in his bedroom by his parents. The poor thing had slit his throat."

No.No.No.No.NO! I don't want to hear anymore. God please I don't want to hear this.Why him? Why not me? I'm the deadly one. The one who deserves death. Why did they take Atreyu away from me? I don't know if I'll find my way back now.

"He killed himself."

"Yes. He did."

"Was there a note?"

"I believe so."

"Can I see it?"

"I don't think that's a good idea."

Of course it wasn't a good idea. Not with my mind the way it was. But I needed to know. I needed to know what happened. He seemed okay the last time I had seen him. What went wrong? Couldn't they see I just needed to understand?

The nurse siighs heavily and leaves without saying another word. I'm alone again, all tucked up in my depression. They'll probably increase my meds now. But it's not like it matters anymore. I close my eyes and try to dream. It's the only way I can be with Atreyu anymore.

I don't know what time it is exactly when I wake up with a start. Tears blur my vision. I had seen him. Atreyu with his melting red choker. I watched him reach out to me, strugglign to grasp my hand and pull me near. His face frozen in anguish. His gentle lips slowly opening to silently ask me one thing. Why?

My guilt chokes me. I never meant for things to get this bad. I never meant for any of this to happen. It started with an impulse decision by a desperate girl who just wanted to be loved. By someone. By anyone. By me. And now suddenly the question becomes how will this end?