My Life In Your Eyes *SELFUNBOUND*

Chapter 1

Summer is almost over and its time to go back to school. I can't say that I am ready to go back, but I really don't hate school either. Just because of Braxton. He makes everything easier for me. It's just the times that he can't be with me that is hard.

This summer Braxton and I went to the beach together. Our parents are very close friends, so this is nothing abnormal for us. We usually get to go on one vacation together, then one with our families-alone. Those are no were near as fun.  There are a few things made easier by Braxton not going with us though. I would never get into a bathing suit in front of him, and I don't like eating in front of him. Being a hundred pounds over weight, I am self conscious anyway, but I do not ever want Braxton to see me.

He has never judged me. He takes up for me when someone says something mean or cruel to me, when I am with him. If I tell him of something happening when he is not around, he usually has words with that person later, especially at school. Because of this, I try not to mention things that happen. I feel like a burden to him sometimes, like the little sister he has to protect.  He is only one month to the day older than me.

If being this fat was my fault I would say that I may deserve some of the picking and joking. This is not my fault. I eat healthy. I work out. I usually only eat junk food at holidays or special events- like birthday parties. I have been to every doctor in North Carolina, South Carolina, and still no one can help me.

I have tried every fad diet on the market, went to gyms, workout clubs, and even tried medications. I will not lose weight. I will never give up though. My dream is to be able to be proud of the way I look. And even though Braxton has proving he will be my best friend no matter what, I would like for him to be able to be proud of being my best friend. Who knows, if I was skinny maybe we could be more.

Nobody asks me to dances, out on dates, and even to this day, I have never had a boy friend. I will not let Braxton take me to the dances and other social school events. I am too worried he will get picked on and laughed at, all because of me.

I feel like I hold him back.

 A lot of the dances and other things, he says he would rather not attend, I feel like it is really because of me. He knows I will not go and I think he feels bad that I am home alone. So he misses out on so much.

I did try to go to a home football game once. I spent the whole game talking to Braxton, laughing, screaming for our team, booing when the other team would score, just really having fun...until... it was time to go.

I was following behind Braxton, very slowly, and watching my step. The bleachers seem so much narrower on the way down, and I almost made it to the bottom without falling on my face. It would be embarrassing to fall, no matter who you are. But the fat girl falling, that's even worse.

Just as I was passing Gary Williams, one of the hottest guys in school, He looked up to see who was coming by him. He actually made eye contact with me, and I instantly blushed. As I was stepping to the next step, trying to regain my focus, Gary quickly stuck his foot out making me roll down the last four steps.

I wanted to die. It was bad enough that I had fell in front of the entire school. But I also fell in front of Braxton. I couldn't look at him. The tears streaming down my face, added to my shame. I heard Gary and his group laughing loudly.

"Hey Addy, I thought we where having an earthquake," yelled Gary. I moved my chocolate brown hair out of my face, with my bloody palms, and glanced up at his group. When the beautiful, perfect, Kristen Hefner, sitting beside him, saw my face she stopped laughing and I saw the remorse and pity flash through her eyes, but only for a second. She glanced back at her boyfriend, "Good one Gary."