Secrets ( A Niall Horan Fan Fic)

Badass

Hello guys so uhm yeah I'm not in my best mood because a lot of things have been happening lately and it's destroying me.... But here's the chapter hope you like it...

Song: Skinny Love by Birdie (it's perfect for what I'm feeling and for this chapter)

Gif: What Niall and Alexia will feel at the end of this chapter even though Alexia doesn't want to admit it to herself

Dedicate this chapter to @wannabealyssaxx because I love her and she's been a great friend <3 You should read her books IPX5 because the are flawless <3

xxx S

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Alexia's POV

Memory note. Never make big decisions after a five minute talk with Jane. It's not that she gives me bad advices or that she doesn't help me. She has always helped me. When I had my first period she was the one who told me that it was going to happen every month and that I shouldn't be afraid, she was the one that helped me when I had my first crush, basically she was always there when it came to 'girls issues'. I couldn't ask Jake to help me in this kind of situations. First it would be really awkward for both of us and then he actually couldn't help me at all because he would probably know as much as I did. Or less I guess. But I can't take a big decision like giving away my virginity in a five minute conversation. What if in a couple of years I look back and regret it? Regret that I lost one of the things I could never get back to the wrong guy? It's not that Niall's bad. Heck no it's that maybe he's not the one that I'll spend my life with. But again what if in a couple of years I look back and regret not loosing to him? What if we brake up and I find another guy who I thinks it's at least half as important as Niall was and end up loosing it to him and then I find out he's a total jerk? Any of the ways I decided to go back on my decision and wait. Because there is no explicit age to stop being a virgin. It's your decision whether you want to lose it in a certain age. 

After I left Jane in her hotel I decided to go for a walk in the park. I just began looking at my surrounding. Looking at the people that passed and me and question myself if right now they had any problem in their life. For example the guy walking that pitbull, the way he walks all suspicious and nervous like he was hiding from someone. Maybe he's addicted to some drug and now he's nervous and excited to buy more. Or he is nervous about a meeting. I don't know I couldn't care less.... My eye caught a girl probably my age? She was siting on a bench near the lake with a couple of books with her. Probably studying for her finals, worried if she's going to enter in the university of her dreams. I'll never have those worries. The agency allows their agents to enter in any university they want in anywhere they want. I'll never have to worry about getting good grades. Or worry about what am I wearing for my final prom. Or whom I'm going with. See the thing is that I'll never have those worries because I won't have a prom. Or a graduation day. I never had a spring dance, or a homecoming dance, or a winter dance. All those things that people see in the movies yeah well I never had those things. The thing is that I don't really mind not having those proms and dances there are several worst things happening in the world. While here in England there are people worried about if they have the new high tech phone girls in India are scared if they'll get raped. In Africa little twelve-year-old boys are worried if they'll get enough money to have something to eat to their little brothers and sister who have no mother or father anymore. That makes me really sad. But it's the world and honestly it's not with two or three peoples that we'll change the world. My phone started ringing breaking my chain of thoughts.