VAL-(A Valerina Barkov Thriller)

Loose Birdie

LOOSE BIRDIE 🐦:

As if taking away what mattered most to me wasn’t enough, I was made to waste 5 years of my life. Now, I’m setting out to pay back the favor in Kind… it won’t be as long as 5 years, just one tiny sharp  pain and they would be out of their misery. Bill settled, debt paid in full.

“Valerinuh Berkov,” the guard called out quite in a loud tone, standing in front of my cell door. It wasn’t a new thing having to hear different versions of my Russian name from people; I didn’t even bother correcting anyone who made the mistake anymore since for sure, they’d repeat it again.  At that point in my life, I might as well say I’d seen it all; the good, the bad, the ugly, the unheard of. I jumped off the bunk and took a moment to pick up a few things of my things, mostly the sheets of paper which I had stuffed into a small notebook.

“Goodbye for now Val,” my cell mate said. I turned to her with a smile. Over the years, Rhoda had gotten to know me more than I knew myself and  helped me find learn to stand up for what I felt was the right thing. She wasn’t the one to talk much, perhaps it was because of the kind of job she did before landing in this hole called prison.

“Nǐ zhīdào gèng hǎo, jiàoshī, [Chinese: You know better, teacher]” I replied. She knew what I meant and simply nodded as was her usual manner.
It was a deal gone wrong but that was not enough reason to take him away from me. Those words rang in my head as I was walked to the warden’s office, he’d given a short talk to me, explaining the grounds on which I was being given a shorter time in prison and went on to explain how it wasn’t a guarantee that I couldn’t be back in there again. A couple of minutes later, I was at the exit of the prison yard.

The gates buzzed open; it was the last time I was going to hear the clanging noise of chains or the loud orders that disturbed my little periods of sleep. I took a look at the huge building which stood before me; the guard tower which overlooked the whole area and often sent bright rays of light through my window brought back memories of how many sleepless nights I had endured, the faded metal bars of the windows which stood high afar off reminded me of how much of my human side had died off within those walls and my mind remembered the scar on my jaw at the sight of the ambulance van which was parked at a distance. It had been 5 unforgettably long years in this hades but I had no plans of staying away for long.

“You’re free to go,” the guard said as the handcuffs loosened off of my wrist. “Try to stay out of trouble now”.

I looked at the scar which had formed about my wrist, the sensation I felt whenever the cuffs went loose hadn’t changed. There was still that stamp of guilt that had been forced into my life and taking the cuffs off my hands sure didn’t change anything. I didn’t reply to the guard-as I had learnt in the confines of my cell room. I turned away from the prison gates, the buzzing noise of the gates ringing behind me. He was going to come for me, he had promised to, but at that time in my life, trust was something far too expensive for me to afford.

It wasn’t going to be easy picking up my life from where I’d left it-in shambles. As a matter of fact, I didn’t have it mind to, but rather had made up my mind to stay with this version new me, this me that never held back myself from doing what I knew was right, one that had learnt to let fate decide whatever would be-it was the basic rule of staying alive, Survival 101 just like Rhoda had called it. It had been 20 minutes into my long lonely walk when I heard the sound of a car’s engine from behind. It has to be him, I was definitely sure about it.

“I’m sure you weren’t planning on going 10 miles on foot,” a male voice said from within the car that pulled up in front of me. I got in, hardly raising my head to get a view of who it was.

“Hi,” he said, I could see him grin from the corner of my eye. He definitely hadn’t changed after all these years.

“Hi,” I simply said, giving a quick smile. “Thanks for coming to get me.”  I tried letting go of the gloom and fitting into this new world different from iron bars and uniformed men.

“I’m sorry I came late anyway,” he said, stealing a glance at me. I raised an eyebrow and gave another smile that disappeared almost as quickly as it came. We stopped by at the mall to get some groceries as well as accessories for me before spending the next hour trying to get home, most part of the ride was engulfed in this awkward silence-just as I had expected-although my mind kept recalling what my life before my days behind bars was like.

It was early evening when we arrived at his apartment, he had told me I could stay as long as I wanted, sadly enough, I already had plans of moving out. The apartment had every evidence of bachelorhood, from the scattered pillows on the couch to the adorably neat sink in the kitchen-thank God for McDonald. His bedroom was a different story though, it had that romantic feel. Everything was in place and the smell of the fresh flowers he had bought earlier was definitely predictable.

I stepped into the shower after I’d helped him unload the grocery. He hardly talked about my past 5 years; I knew what he was doing- he was trying to make it feel like it had never happened. If there was anything that had changed besides my view of things, it was the way water felt when I let myself get soaked in the shower. A chill ran down my spine as water touched my bare skin, it brought back the memories of the last 1,825 days. The torture, the pain, the struggle, the gain, it reminded me of Rhoda. I was not going to let the freedom blind me for it was no freedom in real life; it was only a break before I went back.

“What are you working on?” I asked, stepping out of the bathroom drying my hair with a towel.

“Nothing,” Parker said, pulling down the laptop’s screen and turning over to me. I could see something in his eyes, something I had missed for as long as I could remember. It was that same look Morgan gave me when it felt like my world was crashing; it was care, a reaffirmation that I still got someone. “You’ve barely changed.”

I gave a quick look at him, he couldn’t be serious, if only he knew what laid behind this flesh.

“I’ve been through a lot Parker, I’ve definitely changed,” I replied calmly as he walked towards me. He still had the smoothest walk and those dark innocent eyes. He stood only an inch away from me, his hands reached for mine.

“I never got to see that tattoo,” he said turning behind me to the tattoo that laid there. I nodded lightly. “Those handcuffs couldn’t break you,” he paused, “you’re strong and I’m sure you’d pull through pretty fine.” His warm breath caressed my neck, only then did I realize that it had been an awkward silence for a split second and our faces had gotten really close to each other’s.

I knew where this was heading and I wasn’t going to hesitate, I felt my towel loosen from my body, the rest that happened was our own little secret.

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