Life was simple, easy, safe despite the nagging of others demanding to know what Y/n wanted to do with her life she had little to complain about.
Still she wished the sea would take her, she didn't want to worry about where her life was headed, she...
With our men positioned Finan, myself and the two archers and a few others remained lying on the ground waiting for dawn to arrive.
Board on soon consumed me as I laid on my back to star haze through the leaves.
"Can I ask you something?" Finan's Irish accent cut through the silence.
I turned to look at him offering a nod to continue.
"When we left to negotiate with the brothers. What did you say to me?" He asks look down at me from where he laid in his stomach.
"May your god be with you." I replied with a smile. Finan responded with a smile of his own.
"Go mbeannai Dia Duit." Finan whispered.
"What does that mean?" I now asked never having heard the Irishman speak his mother tongue.
"May god bless you." He replied with a smile.
Although I would have rolled my eyes if it was anyone else to bestow this blessing upon me; I found myself unable to instead I reached out a hand cupping Finan's face with a find smile.
"Thank you." I said eyes captivated by his under the moonlight. Pulling my hand away as I begin to realise I was staring.
I turned my gaze back to the sky suddenly overcome by a nervous feeling again, one that didn't match the nerves I held towards the upcoming battle.
At some point tiredness took over and I found myself being shook awake shortly before dawn by Finan.
"Shh." He reminded me when I went to speak.
Remembering why, I rolled into my stomach resuming my watching and waiting. My heart hammered loudly as the sky lightened, fear crawling up my skin as battle drew near.
"You snore." Finan whispered closely to my ear making me turn my face only for our noses to almost touch.
Pulling back slightly with a fake offended scowl to control the now flustered hammering of my head and the blush crawling up the back of my neck I retorted.
"I do not!" In a whisper yell.
"You do. It's cute, like a child's." He teases earning a kick to his foot by my own to silence his tease. Uhtred soon gave the signal to signal Ragnar.
Birds cawed loudly in the sky above as Finan turned to give the archer the signal to light the arrow and signal Ragnar's attack.
With the arrow shot we waited in anticipation to make our move. My breath hitched when the men atop the wall ran off in urgency at the yells of warriors at the northern gate.
Then it started seemingly in slow motion. I watched Uhtred jump into the water supply with the others following, weapons drawn and war cries echoing alongside the screams and cries of fear that reached my ears.
Finan led a charge of the remaining men settled in the woods to assist Uhtred, however not among them, I froze in my attempt to lift my body from the ground. Crouched and looking at the men running towards the screams and cries my limbs found themselves like led.
I couldn't move.
I didn't want to move.
Coward!
I felt the tears pooling in my eyes before I heard them splattering on dead leaves on the ground.
Why!
Why can't I move!
I need to help them!
I need to fight!
Fight!
Fight!
"Y/n!" A violent shake awoke my consciousness alongside the yell of my name.
"I..." I stuttered seeing Finan crouched before me.
"Now is not the time for nerves, our friends are fighting!" Finan yelled at me. Each word causes a flinch of fear to course my body.
He'd never yelled at me before.
"Find your courage! Or go back to Eoferwic!" And with that I watched him stand and leave once again making his way to the door of the water spring.
Cursing at myself, I wiped my tears bolting across the field and catching up to Finan who held the door to the fortress open waiting with a smirk as I jumped down.
"Knew you'd snap out of it." He patted my shoulder happily.
Yet I could not reciprocate that happiness. Instead I looked down in shame muttering a small apology.
"Happens to the best of us." Finan, taking my hand, says as he led us to find Uhtred and the others.
~~~
To Be Continued
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