Stowaway (A Pirate Novel) (Completed)

Chapter 29 The Talk

"I know what people think of me. For the most part I don't care. The people that really matter don't care what I do for money. I think Miles loves me. You're like a sister. Talbot and Harv are like brothers."

"I used to think like you do. I used to think that when I managed to find pleasure with a man it made me dirty. I used to think my desire for Miles was a dirty wicked thing too." She told Elle. Her voice was loaded with emotions. "It was Sir Travis that caused my doubts. I had been raised to respect the marriage bed. I was never told séx between husband and wife was dirty. I was told it was dirty to have séx with anyone you were not married to. No one ever explained what séx was. I was just told it was a beautiful thing just for marriage.

"Sir Travis.... Well, I learned what it was and I hated it. After my money was gone I quickly leaned men would pay for it.

"Every man is different. I learned that too. Some find pleasure in your pleasure. Some find it in your pain. Others see you only as a tool to use, they find no pleasure in your pain or your pleasure."

Elle found her skin heated in embarrassment. She found it hard to look at Zara.

"I've been with hundreds of men, Elle. To be honest even with the wrong man it can be pleasant but with the right one it can be... Like breathing for the first time, or like you don't know where he starts or you begin. It can be soul shaking." Zara told her. Elle heard the wonder in her voice and couldn't help looking up. It was on her face too. Her eyes shown with it.

"How- how do you know? I mean how do you know if you found the one?" The question caused voice to squeek and the burn of  embarrassment to heat up all over again.

"Love." Zara said simply. She smiled at the confusion on Elle's face. With a small laugh she added, "I know. That doesn't make it any easier does it?"

Elle understood the concept of love. She just had no idea what it felt like. She loved Zara, her dad, Harv, the captain and she was starting to care for Miles. But she was sure that the love Zara meant was vastly different. "How-" she started to ask but Zara was shaking her head.

"Don't ask how to know if you're in love. It's personal. The only thing I can tell you is that when you love someone you put their needs first, even if they don't understand." Her lips pinched in distaste. She look almost like she had taken a bite of something bitter and rancid. "Well, I may have not been the most help, eh?" She grinned at her almost appologeticly. Zara pushed up from the bed, "Come, let's go break the nights fast. I'm starving."

Zara pasted her as Elle was standing. "Zara?" Elle trilled. Zara turned with a smile.

"Why won't you marry Miles? I know he's asked at least six times. He's not horrible, for a man, and he looks at you- with- I don't know. I think- maybe I would like to have someone look at me that way. It's so kind. I think you love him too." Elle said, her words rambling. Zara's smile had fallen but she didn't look angry. Sad. She looked know Elle knew it was her fault. But for some reason she needed to understand this.

She pushed a little harder. "Z, why."

Zara studied her for a moment. "You know, Elle, I almost want to tell you to mind your own business." Zara told her. Elle felt herself flinch. Zara stepped forward. Elle saw her lips twisted in a melancholy smile.  "I won't marry him, Elle, because I do love him. I won't walk with him on the promenade because I love him. I know his family isn't wealthy but they are respected. I'll not have him sullied with a link to me." She shook her head. She sat on the bed heavily after a few steps, as if running for miles. She looked up a Elle, her eyes sadder, darker and misted with unshed tears. "I fear that his constant presence here will come back to do him harm." She said and shook her head. "But I'm selfish." She said. She looked up at Elle.

Elle found she wanted to weep for her. She dropped to the bed and hug Zara to her.

"No, Z, you're not."

"Yes, I am. I should send him away. I should refuse to see him. In-insted I let him stay. I know it causes him to hope I'll change my mind. But I want him with me. I want him here. I know that it could destroy his reputation but I- I,"

Elle tried to sooth her. She wished she had remained silent and not asked. The damage was done and the sister of her heart was now hurting.

"I'm sorry, Z. I'm sorry. You are not selfish. You are not. You helped me over and over. Love shouldn't be like this. You said that the people who matter don't care what you do here. This isn't fair. You love each other and you have a right to be happy, Z. I'm sorry." Elle was crying now.

"You should marry him. To hell with the pompous snots. They have no right." She pulled back and looked in Zara's eyes. "It's not fair that they treat you badly." She stood up. "If someone loves you this much, someone you love the same, why let them break you this way? It is not far, Z." She was padding over the floor. She motioned with her hand. "They allow men like Sir Travis to marry. Evil. Vile. Men. He made my father that loan and he knew he would not be able to repay it.  In essence he intended to buy me. They think this is okay." She looked up at the ceiling and gave a harsh laugh. She turned to Zara. 

"What does Miles say about this?"

"He doesn't think its that much of a problem. He thinks we could leave here if necessary. But he has family Elle." She looked away for a moment. "He doesn't know I was employeed by the Travis's. He never cared why I worked here. He insisted he would take care of me, that I didn't need to stay here."

"Don't let them take him, Z. Sir Travis's kind take too much.  Don't let them take this too. Marry Miles." Elle looked at her pleadingly.

(I got this one up faster then I thought I would.

I would be thankful if you guys would vote. Also I would like some feedback. Are you happy with what I write?

Yes I'm a needy artist. So come on give me my fix so we can continue.
Love you all and thank you for sharing this seafaring, pirate journey with me.

Hoist sail! Way ànchor. See you iñ the next chapter.)

By the way... Surgery went well. I only have 3 stitches. It's sore but at least the surgery is over. Now I just have to heal (and I don't know how the police are handling the case). Next appointment is on August 13 2015.