Head in the clouds.

Chapter Nine.

"No. Jess please!" Cara whispered breathless. I moved my lips to her neck biting lightly on the tender skin and then kissed the point softly adding pleasure to the pain. Cara moaned in response tilting her jaw higher exposing more of her pale throat. Her hand gripped my hair pushing my lips closer, she became desperate for the contact and i couldn't deny her, but just not here.

"Lets get out of here." I said into her shoulder as she tugged my hair playfully. There was a moment of silence and as i looked at her i could see that she was thinking it through, weighing up the risks. As she did i took a step back, fully intending to think it through too but she looked mesmerizing concentration etched her face and she had a far off look in her eyes that made them look more blue then before, like two oceans holding all her emotion and memories, it felt a privilege to look into them as they revealed so much in that moment of her vulnerability. Before i knew it she was done thinking and so was i, i didn't care what happened after this as long as she was with me now. I so desperately wanted to tell her that and the thousands of other life altering thoughts I've had because of her, but again it was her turn to decide what happened next and so i stayed quiet waiting for my heart to be shattered in to unrecognizable pieces or mended ever so slightly. I watched her pink lips, slightly swollen from our passionate entanglement but they didn't move. Instead she took a tentative step forward and placed a light delicate kiss on my forehead before taking my hand in hers and walking towards the road with me in tow. My heart was thumping within my tightening chest, with her finger intertwined with mine a heat rushed from my fingertips setting my body on fire. My eyes drifted over her as she set the pace taking long strides, i felt as though i was in a dream, after so long to finally be with her again was so unthinkable that my brain still hadn't full processed what was happening so it remained in torturous ignorance replaying the same thought over and over.

"Wake up, this can't be real, wake up."

We made it to the edge of the street where she stopped abruptly, the tips of her shoes balancing off the edge of the curb like a person standing on the edge on the top of a tall building, she leaned forward slightly looking into on coming traffic. Cars passed quickly in a blur of light and then darkness each one carrying people, people who could change lives of everyone around them with one split second decision, i became suddenly aware of the power one person can hold over others. The power to speak "goodbyes" or "I love you's". Her hair blew in the wind whipping around her face. She raised her hand into the air and whistled hailing a Taxi that was approaching. The vibrant yellow stood out brilliantly among the buildings and cars of grey and black. She opened the door and placing her hand on the small of my back allowing me to enter first, after i had slid across the worn leather seats she slipped into the car after and told the driver the directions to her apartment. 

Silence fell as we made our way to our destination as we both knew any word we spoke would be too valuable to share in the back of a foul smelling taxi. I stared out the window not focusing on anything in particular but instead watching passing blurs and listening to Cara's steady breathing next to me, wishing i could hear the sound of her fragile heart to know if it was beating as erratically as mine was. I turned to look at her. She was looking at me intently like  i was just a veil of smoke that she was trying to look beyond, our eyes met and something within her softened, a smile spread across her face which she immediately tried to suppress by biting her bottom lip as her cheeks flushed a bright shade of red, i could tell she thought something that she shouldn't, that had always been her tell. 

After many minutes  and stolen glances later we made it to Cara's apartment. As we stepped out the taxi the air was chilled and the wind had picked up, dark clouds hovered overhead threatening rain. I got out first thanking the driver Cara did the same as she handed him a wad of money she didn't seem bothered to count. I waited on the side of the curb as she brushed past me once again grabbing my cold hand in her warm one. She put the key into the lock and opened the door with ease allowing us in to the warmth, narrowly avoiding the downpour that had just began. I could hear the water batter the pavement from behind the door thankful that we had left the club when we did, i wondered if Amy would be okay getting home so i took out my phone while i had a second and texted her.