Head in the clouds.

Chapter Six.

The silence was deafening... but i don't think deafening truly describes my complete lack of purpose and reason to keep getting out of bed. Unfortunately the words fit together comfortably and so there they are. The silence wasn't just deafening, it was defeating. The silence heard my questions and never answered them... Where had she gone? Who was she with? Why couldn't it be me? Why was i still holding on?

I don't know.

Dinner.

"I don't know, just try and focus on the rest of my family who are actually human and not soul crushing monsters like my Mother." Cara was in hysterics as i explained the do's and don't's of dining with my Mum, which me and my siblings had been fine tuning for years.

"She can't seriously be that bad, i mean she's accepted you for who you are right?" I knew what she was getting at and yes my Mum did know about my sexuality.

"Accept is a strong word i think ignore would be better suited." Cara moaned and not a sexy "i want you" moan but a "i'm losing this battle" moan. I shifted closer to her resting my hand on her thigh and planting a soft kiss on her cheek. I dropped my voice.

"Its just complicated, but everything's going to be fine. So relax." I whispered in her ear. She sighed calmly as her body leaned on mine, her head rested perfectly on my shoulder. Why couldn't all relationships be this easy? I knew the answer as soon as i thought the question, because not all people fit together as easily as two puzzle pieces and how could they when you're looking for the corner pieces first and ignoring the rest of the picture.

We arrived at the restaurant quickly as we expertly avoided rush hour, i could tell Christopher was pleased by this as when i exited the car, with Cara tight in my grasp, he had a huge goofy smile plastered across his face as he forced countless people with camera's away; clearing a path for us. The restaurant was breathtaking, i had only ever been here once before but i was too young to appreciate how beautiful it all was. Candles illuminated the clear white walls and the magnificent elaborate paintings hung upon them. The floor was black marble, amplifying the satisfying clicks our heals made when they made contact with the dark immaculate surface. The tables were all dark oak hand crafted in to complicated and intriguing shapes each suited to the number of people at the given table. Smooth jazz melted through invisible speakers echoing triumphantly around the large space, each note evaporating away each bead of stress within my body. As we neared the corner of the room i could see my sister and brother both standing smiling joyfully in our direction, my nephew was wrapped around the left side of my sisters body, clutching her neck protectively; he too was smiling. My brother as always had a tight grip on his phone and i could see his fingers itching to reply to the countless messages he was probably receiving, but it meant a lot that it his focus was on me instead of that. My Mother though was sitting defiantly with her face composed but her eyes glaring like a tiger ready to attack, but they weren't focused on me. No she was looking dead at Cara, who after noticing that look allowed her hand to slip through mine, i felt her breath hitch with nerves as she lost contact with me and i could feel a knot growing within my stomach as her warm touch faded away. Why was she being so careful? I sure as hell wasn't about to give up this early on in the game. I wrapped my arm around her waist and moved closer into her as we strode towards my smiling siblings.

"It's okay, focus on me." I murmured to her as i released her waist slowly to envelope my Brother into a massive bear hug. His impressive height meant he had to bend down to intertwine himself with me but once he did i was launched into the air as he stood up, his arms were so tight my lungs couldn't get air but i didn't care because i had missed his so much. He placed me down and i gasped for oxygen, a good hug i concluded should make you breathless for one reason or another. Then i moved to my Sister and nephew who both practically jumped into my arms. I felt like crying, it had been so long. My Sisters chin rested on my shoulder.