I'm in trouble | A Lesbian Story

Aftermath

The last few weeks of school felt like a blur. Chloe wasn't really sure how she felt still. She knew that she cringed every time she saw Fiona and Kirsten being affectionate. She knew that her skin crawled whenever Fiona would look at her. She knew that her heart still raced when Fiona was near or whenever she saw Fiona smile. She hated herself for still feeling that way. Laurel and Fiona no longer spoke after their fight. People at school had made a big deal about it when Laurel and Fiona showed up with black eyes to school on Monday. People's comments and teasing had sort of made tensions worse.
But it was summer now and Chloe could relax. She wasn't going to have to see Fiona and Kirsten outside their friend groups annual trip to Chloe's lake house. Even then she wasn't sure if they were still coming or if Chloe should just uninvite Fiona.  Chloe has spent most of her time at home. The pool she worked at during the summer as a lifeguard hadn't opened yet so her time was filled mostly with video games and playing her guitar. She was shocked to see Fiona calling her the first official night of summer. Chloe contemplated not answering, she had no idea what she was about to say. They hadn't really talked since that night at Laurel's house. Her curiosity got the best of her and she answered anyway.

"Chloe!" Fiona exclaimed. Chloe berated herself for feeling giddy by the sound of Fiona saying her name. She hadn't heard her say it like that in awhile.

"Hey Fe." She said softly. "What's up?"

"Oh uh nothing I just wanted to check in. We haven't talked in what feels like ages." She said.

"Well there's a reason for that." Chloe said. Fiona stayed silent for a minute.

"Yeah um I know. I don't know what to say other than I'm sorry." Sorry? Sorry now? No! That pissed Chloe off. She scoffed.

"A little late for that Fiona." Chloe exclaimed. She tried to keep her cool but she didn't quite realize he angry she actually was.

"I said I was sorry! You don't have to get angry with me!"

"Fiona are you out of your mind? I don't get to be angry? You are the one that lead me on, kissed me and then went and started dating another girl!" Chloe exclaimed. She felt red hot. She bit her tongue in some aspects, she didn't want to say anything she didn't mean. But she also wanted to get her point across. What Fiona did hurt.

"You don't understand." Fiona said quietly.

"No Fiona, I really fucking don't." Chloe exclaimed. She took a deep breath. "After all these years, after all I've done for you. After the way that I have loved you and been loyal to you I just thought it would have been me. But I guess not." Chloe said, slamming the end call button on her cell phone and throwing it across the room. She grabbed her pillow and shoved it on top of her face and screamed. She was so frustrated and hurt. How did she let herself fall so deeply? How did she let herself believe she was good enough?

-

Chloe pouted in bed for what felt like the rest of the night, realistically it was only an hour or so. She didn't quite know what do with herself. She wasn't in the mood to find a party to attend but she also knew she'd be bored staying in all night. Her contemplating was interrupted by the sound of her doorbell. Her parents weren't home and it was too late for a package to be arriving so Chloe was unsure who it could be. She checked her phone to see if anyone had texted her that they were stopping by, nothing. She got out of bed and walked down the stairs to the front door anyway. Opening it and seeing Fiona standing outside. Great. Fiona was the last person she wanted to see right now and was honestly borderline pissed that she showed up out of nowhere.

"What do you want?" Chloe said plainly. She hoped to get this over with quick so she could lay back in bed and pout. Fiona had this guilty look on her face and wasn't at all surprised by Chloe's tone.

"To apologize, for real this time." Fiona said calmly. Chloe looked at her and considered closing the door. But she couldn't help it. The way Fiona's eyes sparkled in the dim light of her front porch made her guard soften. If it was anyone else standing on her front porch begging for forgiveness, Chloe would have slammed the door and gone on with her night. She couldn't do that do Fiona.

"I'm listening."

"I made poor decisions when it came to my relationship with Kirsten and my relationship with you. My head was scrambled and I should have been more upfront and honest about my feelings for Kirsten with you. I never meant to lead you on or hurt your feelings. I'm so unbelievably sorry that I did." Fiona said. Chloe stared at her. She was being genuine but Chloe knew that wasn't the whole story. She still didn't understand why Fiona had kissed her at the zoo and lead her to believe for at least the past year that at some point they'd be together romantically. Chloe could accept the apology but she needed to hear one more thing before she could move on.

"So what I'm hearing is that you don't have feelings for me at all? Kirsten is the one you wanted all along?" Chloe asked. Saying the words out her own mouth felt heavy. She needed to hear Fiona say it. Fiona stared at her, silent. She looked almost shocked that Chloe had asked that question in the first place. She also looked hurt. After awhile she hesitantly nodded, giving Chloe the confirmation she needed. It wasn't quite enough. "Say it."

Tears started to well in both girls eyes. Chloe felt like her heart was about to explode by the way it was beating. Fiona's breathing was heavy, like she was trying not to cry. She opened her mouth, nothing came out. She tore her eyes away from Chloe's, she couldn't bear to say those words while looking her in the eye. Fiona took a deep breath.

"I don't have feelings for you and I wanted Kirsten all along." She said quietly, tears flowing down her face now. Chloe didn't understand her, she feared she never would. She knew she was lying and was unsure why. But she accepted those words as the truth, it was the only thing she could do to move on.

"Okay." Chloe said, breaking the long silence. Fiona finally looked at her again. Chloe felt like her world was caving in, staring into Fiona's eyes and finding them to cold instead of warm. "I'll see you in a few weeks at the lake."

Chloe closed the door before Fiona could say anything else. She couldn't bear to hear it. She knew it would sound strained and broken and her heart couldn't take it anymore. Her night was decided now. She'd spend it under the heavy comforter of her bed in the dark, crying silently, wondering if she'd ever get her this heartbreak.

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Okay so I know I said I wasn't gonna change the story all that much but...I am. I wrote this story at a much younger age and I've realized a lot of things were either poorly thought out or poorly executed so there's gonna be some changes to make the story more cohesive. I hope you don't mind. If anyone has issues or wants to read the originals, I have them saved and can post them if enough people want to read them, just let me know! Thanks for reading byyeeee.