Don't JUDGE Me

KAUSAP

Full of questions that I do not know if it will work.

What kind or type of talker am I?

Nakakapanghina naman ito.

Should I just keep my mouth shut?

Never type some letters that would turn the other into disliking you.

But I am being careful naman e.

So what is the issue dear?

Lintik na kausap.

I am so sensitive just because a person just became sarcastic and annoyed.

Pasensya na sa aking iginawad sapagkat hindi ko aakalaing ganon pala ang mapupunta.

Masyado lang akong nagpadala sa mga emosyon ko na di ko naisip na baka ako talaga ang may kasalanan sa lahat ng ito.

Naguguluhan na ako sa kung ano dapat kong isagawa.

Ano ba dapat ako bilang isang kausap?

I hate this feeling.

I just want to express.

Sige sabihin na nating challenge ito na dapat ma-resolve.

Pero pakiramdam ko, kinukuwestiyon na nito capabilities ko.

Mga kakayahan kung may iaabot pa ba?

If it is a stranger, it is fine for me because it just feels new.

Pero kase this is someone whom I know. Nagkakaroon na ng progress and developmwnt as it already began.

The talk that I am longing to have some upgrades and extend.

Gusto kong palagpasin ito at i-fix pero mangilan na e.

To the point that I feel so uneasy, and uncomfortable in my state.

Kakayanin ko pa ba or nasa limit na?

Pati ako nahuhusgahan na ang pagiging isang kausap.

Wala naman dapat ika-big deal dito e.

Pero napapa-deep thoughts ako on what and why pagdating sa kausap.

Is it me? Or the person na kinakausap ko?

This time hindi naman nanandya ang tadhana.

This is one of the situations that put me in a stiff sitting.

Making me pause as to what should I continue.

Ano ba iyong tingin ko na makakabuti?

There are so many things I have to prove.

But should these things end here?

Hindi pa nga nakakatagal o.

Is it actually my way of talking? Nakakagulo.

Hoo. Hingang malalim ka lang.

I feel so crazy that I do not know how to explain it.

Dapat may ideya na ako on how I should this or that.

I feel that I did not do wrong but another side of me tells me that there is no right.

Paano na ako nito?

Wala pa nga ako sa mga ibang seryosong stage, nagkakaka-ganito na.

Parang ang sarap takasan na lang ang lahat ng ito.

May mapupuntahan pa ba?

Ito na naman siya sa sobrang pag-iisip.

Pero ganoon na lang kase ang paninikip ng aking dibdib.

Ramdam ko ang pagiging bothered that I cannot explain.

I mean, I can form so many reasons pero wala ni isa doon ang magiging malinaw.

Pero kung isaisip ang ideya, it will be on making a question mark tungkol sa ako ba bilang kausap or sa aking kausap?

Siguro, ang puwede ko na lang gawin ay mag-lay low kung sakali.

I guess the person that I am talking to is not the one to who I can show who I truly am.

Tiyagain ko na lang ba muna then kung enough na? I know the drill.

Yeah. That should work. I just have to remove this heavy and throw it somewhere.

Does this apply to that person? Hmm, I do not know.

Kung pati rin ang iba maayawan sa way ng pakikipag-usap ko, then go na lang din.

Kumbaga send to everyone ang datingan.

And little did I know, I just transformed myself into a person I did not expect.

Para rin naman ito sa ikabubuti. Be careful na lang.

It feels so forced but if this is the only way to settle, then I have to.

Magiging matipid ako.

Kung para sa kanya talaga, then i-hahandog ko, ang ibig kong sabihin ay doon ko ilalalaan lahat.

Alam kong nabanggit ko na noon na marami pa akong nararapat na ipakita.

Mga mapapatunayan pero kung ganito lang naman ang ikahahantong ko, para saan pa hindi ba?

If it is for you, then I am ready to give my all.

To showcase who am I not just as someone na makakausap, but there is actually more than that.

Okay. Just need to plaster my very own self and with this cover, I can be safe.

Bahala na kung manibago sila.

May kasabihan naman na things change as time goes by.

Kung para sa kausap, aking gagawin.