Don't JUDGE me

EFFORT

Mood: 😲

Sabi nila, hardwork pays off.

And I believe that.

It almost became a motto in my life.

Yung, you will give all you got.

Produce that labor.

Show off those energies.

Move your body and activate.

Matuturing bang paid ang ganoon?

Is it all worth it without knowing what will happen?

Others will say yes.

As long as you contributed to something with full effort, then absolutely.

But I do not know. No?

There are moments when those efforts will come wasted even if you did it.

Hindi naman ako si Dora na pag may nagawa mala-bayani, we did it ang sasabihin together with her talking monkey na pinangalan pang nagmula sa salitang tagalog na bota.

May mga sayang na lang kase na masasabi that you do not know how you explain it.

With words. With emotion.

But one thing for sure, you could feel something that you just wanted to blurt it out and rant about it.

Gaya nito.

Pag hindi ka ba nasiyahan sa nangyaring effort, masasabi bang ang demanding ko?

Na masyado akong naghahangad na kahit papano mapansin man lang o mapakitaan ng magandang outcome?

Personally, oo. Kase I know I strive for what I am doing.

That I am making the most out of it.

Ensuring that I will able to get to the bottom of this and have it above.

But I guess it is not enough.

Wala ata akong taglay na masilayan man ako na parang bang lumulutang sa ere gawa nang may napatunayan ako.

Ganoon ba ako na hindi makuntento sa isang bagay?

Wait. Ano nga ba talaga?

At least hindi ka tamad.

May trabaho kang inihandog.

Hindi bale ba ang mahalaga lang ay tungkol sa gawa?

Paano naman ang taong nagsusumikap upang mabigyang atensyon?

Ano ako gamit? Ang hanap lang ay magkaroon ng pinaggamitan?

Puwes, iba ako.

May nararamdaman din ako.

At yung damdaming iyon, nagnanais na sana man lang inilahad sa akin ang papangaraping gusto.

Wala man lang bang credits diyan?

How about being in place?

Baka wala. Sabihin pang lumugar ka kung saan ako nararapat.

Saan ba dapat?

Doon lang ba sa posisyon na nababagay sa akin?

Am I just gonna stay myself there?

I have so much to bring yet, this is me not able to surpass the standard I am hoping for.

Effort this, effort that.

But no signs of recognition?

Not in a way na dapat may pa award or something.